Hanging On A Dream
by Jatd4ever
Summary: For every breath there was lie hidden behind her tongue. Every honest declaration stung harder, and anything could go wrong. Whouffaldi
1. Chapter 1

***I don't own anything!**

 **This is a my first Whouffaldi fic, hope you like it! It's going to be a multi chapter, and I hope your cash tell me what you think. Please enjoy.**

* * *

 **Chapter 1**

The quiet and its the silence was a threatening thing. It meant more room for quiet reflection and repetitive thoughts, fortississimo, heavy, drowning thought. For every breath there was lie hidden behind her tongue. Every honest declaration stung harder, and anything could go wrong.

How many days had it been since he had gone?

They had fought, it was expected.

Relaxation after one of their adventures didn't seem like too much. Not like she would ever give up the heart stopping adventures, but this time she really needed it. She wanted time to figure out how to say correctly what they were to each other. Everyone always asked, and she wanted a better answer then platonic male alien who was her best friend. They were confusing.

Of course he didn't know about it, and of course she didn't tell tell him.

She was not sure if time was a specific element or if he really was a bored, reckless, lonely old man. Sometimes he carried on in such a way that made it hard for her to deal with him, and then he'd show her the greatest sights and she'd forgive him because she couldn't hate him, even if the face wasn't what she grew to love at first. Now, it was just a confusing mess and he deserved to at least learn to notice. So she lied, and slammed into real life again.

Several days, always running, her work, life going on, almost like a sad love song. Remove the love from the equation, and all that remained was simple persuasion. Recurring thoughts wanted her to turn back and make him see it, but he just wouldn't understand, it wasn't his way. All the grey matter in her cerebral cortex couldn't deny, he tattooed his essence, his alibi. What was he to her, best friend, alien, or hobby? It made her feel woozy, he was a bit snobby. He led her to provocation, she was his carer, he was her fixation.

She wanted this break, a vacation, but it wasn't much fun at all. Some would say she looked a bit flush, her glow a bit lost. The students teased except Courtney who now knew better, reminded every time she glanced at the moon. And life went on.

The breeze didn't carry with it the Tardis hum, the dry wit and incorrigible beside manner, and the scraggly eyebrows. So good at lying she was, that she wore them like a disguise. The days dragged on, the glances at the clock repeated themselves, and so tired, her tired was tired.

A humans life is very dull, and Clara almost deserved it. Clara almost didn't deserve it, but life carries with it a special call, quality reserved. Yet it's almost true for the tiny school teacher, never to refuse a trip, not always one with time, unless you count a spaceship. To fill the blanks which needed occupation, she'd need another fixation.

Everyday was a learning experience with withdrawals, looking out the window like in a music video, and books without Wally. Addiction, she was inflicted, her temper bitter, her words biting if spoken to the wrong way. Yet, no one saw it, they didn't know, she was simply the English teacher, carrying the image of him.

Flipping through photos, he wore his grumpy face more often then not, but it was endearing in the most wonderful way. She had grown to like his face, it was amusing, it was her addiction. He could say everything and nothing without saying a word and she'd get cross without explaining. It was almost what made her enjoy his company that made her cross. She almost missed him, almost because it was her fault, it was her whim. And so she waited, and waited, and waited. Another day passed, and the young school teacher came home, she kicked off her shoes, and did all the very dull things she needed to do. There was a draft around the place, and the fish needed feeding, and it was weekend.

Powdered pastels painted the kitchen cabinets, now missing someone to clean the dishes. She remembered when he kneeled to watch the laundry finish, his plans like bubbles upon her ears. The goldfish watched over like tradition of whoever entered and left the kitchen. How many times was he there? It really was a crowded kitchen, with dishes, and cups, so many let downs and pick me ups when he was there. All the cups of afternoon tea trying to figure him out, and the tea it took to find where he was, the kitchen missed it.

Passing her mirror, looking herself over, she was letting herself go. How she stood there when he offered Brighton as a destination, how she was too preoccupied with prettiness and not with the Doctors confused owl look, how blankly he looked when she asked him about her looks and how delighted he looked just moments when he was making plans. He didn't notice, she was barely a woman, perhaps a child to him. Thinking back, she should have gone with him, it would have been better then the tradition of dinner with Danny, what terrible division. The Lagoon of Lost Stars would have been a worthy distraction, if only she knew addition and not subtraction. Those days had past, they were different now, almost like a farmer with a blue cow.

The mirror was a grievance.

In the evening she laid for bed, she was tired, a pile of marking near her head. How many dead trees were really the marking? Thank goodness for the days the trees happened. Like the flares that almost took away every bright little eye of her class that day. He wanted to save her, the Doctor tried hard, but she held on tightly to human kind. Death didn't follow, but it remained a reminder, to be kind to trees and they will be kinder. The desperation which almost swept her away, which almost said yes, but it would have been wrong, even if the right thing felt wrong, everything didn't make sense.

They laid in wait for another day on her desk, almost taunting her in a way. She was really tired, and wanted to sleep, her clothes hugged her softly, leaving her a wave of comfort as she closed her eyes to sleep a deep sleep. And yet, her mind traveled, it raced, it wanted to be free of its surroundings and take on a pace unlike the one naturally borne to a girl of 27 from Blackpool. Toss and turning, the duvet hung desperately to the side of the bed, wide awake like a cup of coffee. It simply wouldn't do, it never did.

She attacked the work that needed marking, twelve past nine and counting. The clock laughed as she turned her head to steal a glance, there still was a chance. Sleep, restful dream, it was a simple action her body wouldn't obey. Being the human that she was, an evening stroll or a quick run might have helped, but not what she was willing to do. Her wants didn't supersede natural occupation.

A distraction promised to ease her thoughts and to shift her focus on not so workday things; it's funny what a novel brings.

Fingers curled around a cup of coffee and a good book, nothing sounded better then a quick read before the monstrous thoughts would bleed their terrible woes upon her memory. With a sigh, she felt deeply as Mr Darcy proclaimed his love to Elizabeth, and yet if he acted in a more gentleman-like manner, then perhaps that would have been the end to a good story and thank goodness that he didn't.

The original romantic comedy, reminded her so of a blankness of feeling, a hand to hold, a boyfriend to get on about the day, to pop off absurdly in wondrous ways. Danny, a guilt that remained a stain to her soul. How could she start over, and lies wash away to honesty? The book was a pause, giving time to herself. However additional warmth interjected, as well as the reminded annoyance of being proved wrong before her class. The doctor as the caretaker, those were the days, those silly cheerful days. No more, no more thoughts of yesterday, and back to her book, whatever splendid thing could wait.

Lighthearted words danced before her eyes, a few laughs escaped her lips at times, and even tears threatened to make an appearance. She was in her element, but of course, peace is fleeting, and was swept away by the familiar hum of the materializing Tardis bleating.

Inside his blue box, he flirted with the controls, making a full stop. His mind full of plans and schemes, he could almost surrender to them. Wonderful troubles he always brought even if he wasn't leading. It had been over a week and he thought that was enough time for her "Thing". The last they met, she complained about not doing the laundry and how it piled up. However, once he thought it over, it didn't make sense. He had modified the contraption to wash better, faster, and make toast. No more, no more waiting, he was bored and he was going to see Clara. Yet, he felt a slight chill, thinking that perhaps it was something else. Perhaps the time had finally come when she had enough of it all and wished to live the boring, quiet, short civilian life like most humans do.

Running his fingers through his hair, and giving his jumper a good tug, he was ready. No trouble for now, it would be fine, and Clara would be excited. What bliss it would be to count the many of things he could reminisce.

Wonder, curiosity, and terrible annoyance hung in her throat as she shielded her eyes from the flood of clouded light spilled from the open Tardis doors. She could swear someone had it in for her at times, not terribly so, but at times inconvenient. She should have known better, but her heart adhered to silent agreement.

As expected the doctor popped out, his tired face twisted in a smile once considered so vile, but a moment changed her reserve, the call that waited for a time, it changed her, and it was what she truly needed. Its expected that he'd visit when he wanted, though sometimes she didn't deserve unwanted intrusion. He watched her lie upon her bed. thinking laziness had been wed. "Clara this is no time to laze about. Up, up, places to go, people to see"

Only a thief, a borrower, and a man would waste her time, even if he meant her well. She was glad, but her happiness was cross before she knew it's meaning, with dagger of a tongue to leave the hearer bleeding. "What are you doing? Do you always enter bedrooms without profession?" Was her biting reply as she looked upon him in disbelief.

Thinking it over, he offered his hand. "Only yours"

He wasn't getting what she meant, it only made her crosser. "Go away"

"I'm here to take you on an adventure."

Good grief.

There was a brilliance about his eyes, an energy in base of his skull, careless wonders in his disguise, a gentle warmth about the floor. His air so lofty, hair do silly, his brow a riddle, wrapped in a coat of stupidity. An irritation in the flesh, a spirit full of beauty. And yet, the timing not so precise, threatening the peace comedy bestowed, she knew she should be glad, and many things that she owed. And things she never had came with surprise, all the things she never said were hidden in her eyes.

Rubbing at her temples, a nonexistent headache ached at the utter stupidity, even gladness lost patience in certain ways. "No, no, no, you don't get to do this."

Snapping her fingers, the Tardis closed on his coat tail to her satisfaction. "It's thirty minutes past ten"

Looking blankly at her, his owlish gaze, "I know, so come into the Tardis", as though her immediate obedience to be expected. Clara looked him over, not ready to budge, waiting to see what else he could think of. He could be clever with a little thought, but the blank look said something different.

Snapping his fingers, he pulled out the wrinkled coat tail. "Anywhere in time," he paused to smooth it out to no avail, then looked back up "your pick", like it was syncopation.

She couldn't control it, it was only getting worse as he kept talking. He wasn't sorry, he didn't say he missed her, it was only a matter of convenience. "Yeah, we are not going there, sorry about the coat, but no"

"I have a whole day worked out"

The look, it almost broke it, but it just wasn't enough. "Sorry I got plans"

"Do you?"

"It involves a little sleep, perhaps you've heard of it?"

"What about the Thames? We could go to the frost fair?"

The last time they went it was another wonderful adventure, and she wouldn't have minded going again. Besides, his period clothing really made him look sharp. Yet, even that wasn't enough. "I'm tired, don't you care? I've got dark circles under my eyes because of you"

"What are you talking about?"

Pointing them out about her face, "These", she said as she made circles around her eyes, who knew the trouble that applied to an earthling woman. "It's because of our late night adventures that I got them" she complained, her brow a fluster, it was a pain.

She was talking, her mouth moving a mile a minute, but there was just a spirit of indifference this time that stung loudly. Nothing, not even a hair out of place really seemed any different. Her roundish face glowed, and Byron came to mind. _And on that cheek and o'er that brow, so soft, so calm, yet eloquent, the smile that wins, the tints that glow._

The rest he couldn't remember. She continued to circle around her eyes, nothing was really there. Yet, if she mentioned it then it had to be true, though he didn't care. "Who cares, you look fine"

"And because of you I look so painted in"

Something was off, but he didn't scan her, it would be cheating. Taking a seat at the makeup table, he started to play with a kabuki brush. All around were jars and various powders, few silver tubes that proved to be nothing but colored wax, all of it seemed a bit much. She colored her face with them, but he saw no reason for it. Clueless to why one would have so many, he scanned the lot, the results were not pretty. Then he wondered why such toxic paints were applied to her face when she clearly didn't need them. It was a darting thought, but it made some sort of sense, either way he needed to know."Who do you need to look good for?"

"Seriously? What about myself, or is that the question?"

"Then shouldn't you be putting your face on? I wouldn't recommend it, these are really bad for you"

"You have it all backwards, no because it's late, and I'll see you later"

Waving the brush around, a bit of powder clouded the air. "Come on, I got a thing, you won't want to miss it and now the air is toxic so you're going to need a gas mask. You don't want to sleep with a gas mask on do you? So why not pop into the Tardis where the air is fresh and clean?"

"Put that down, and all that stuff is hypoallergenic"

"The screwdriver says otherwise"

"Seriously? I paid a lot of money for those"

"Why don't we pop into the Tardis and go to Egypt where you can get all natural stuff? You should see what they did for Cleopatra, they darkened her eyes and practically disguised her. Just like Rome wasn't built in a day neither was Cleopatra's face."

Looking back down at the silver tubes and powders, another thought popped into his head. Could it be possible? "Unless.."

"Unless what?"

Could the tiny human actually be in search of a boyfriend? It was possible as was common for earthly courting rituals, though the meaning had changed a bit throughout the centuries. Nonetheless, he was equally curious to know. "Are you following ancestral rituals and putting on your best battle paint and getting ready for the kill?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Are you hunting for a boyfriend and or getting ready to go for the hunt?"

"No"

"Or did you already find one and you want me to go because you are expecting company?"

"I don't have a boyfriend"

Pretending to put makeup on, he said slyly "What about Adrian? Reminds me of a dashing young time traveler I know. I could go ahead and check his prospects."

"Doctor we've been over this, he is not my type"

"Actually I've already looked ahead, and he's still dashing with his graying hair"

"It doesn't matter because I'm not interested"

He wasn't thoroughly convinced, and it bothered him slightly at her reaction. She didn't like the grey hair, but that was expected, he didn't really had use for it either. His reflection looked back at him, unsure, unaware, undeniably old. Was he really repulsive and she couldn't look at him anymore? Perhaps she finally woke up and saw that it wasn't worth the effort, and it really was the end. He couldn't give up, there was so much more they had to do.

His quiet intruding presence alone annoyed her, and she threw her butterfly pillow with incredulous force. "Go away," she whined, "all I want was to read my book"

Catching the pillow, he scanned it then replaced it as soon as results proved inconclusive. Perhaps she was already suffering from lead poisoning and now she couldn't think straight. From his inner pocket he pulled out a mask. "If I'm going to save you from yourself then I can't get infected"

"Would you stop it! I'm fine, my makeups fine, and everything is fine"

Removing his mask he scanned the air, it was livable. He forgot to take into account the central air. Looking for other reasons to drag her away, he caught sight of the book sitting nearby. "Pride and Prejudice? You've read that already haven't you?"

She's read it a dozen times.

"Perhaps I wanted to read it again"

She was in one of those moods where she didn't feel up to anything, but who else to know better then a doctor to know the cure?

Taking a seat on the side of the bed, he took it and jumped back on his feet. "Come on, you can read in the Tardis"

Her face a pout. "I hate you"

He really hoped she didn't mean it, so he laughed it off. "I know you don't mean it"

Opening the doors, he leaned against it. "Remember Clara. you're my carer, who else is going to care so I don't have to?"

She really was being cruel, and he was trying in his own way. The look in his eyes really got her, and she felt her anger diminishing. A promise of adventure was always inviting despite the effects on her complexion. Despite the audacity, she smiled her little smile and followed. "Alright old man, I'm coming"

Victory, though a tiny one meant a traveling companion to do whatever, wherever in space. His joyful hearts leaped in quiet expectation, his hands grazed over the control panels, burning to set off on an adventure. Impatience welled in his feet and hands as he waited for her response. She was quiet, it disturbed him. "What's the matter?"

"Just having one of those days, traveling with a madman, questioning my sanity"

"Isn't that everyday?"

"Exactly. It's nothing you would bother with even if it's your fault"

"Have you thought of where'd you like to go? Anywhere?"

"Somewhere magical is always at the top of my list. However, it's always let's save a planet from an impending invasion, or running from lasers, or fish people. Really, what can top Jane Austen?"

"More interesting then Jane Austen? Let's see, we could go to Egypt, Crocodileopolis, they worship crocodiles hence the name. Why are you complaining? You were planning on wasting a night lounging around, for boyfriends that may or may not visit. Why not cite Shakespeare as the universe tears itself apart, scare a volcano, become a sacrifice. Anything to drown out the boredom"

"Who said I was bored?"

"Nothing to be ashamed of, completely normal reaction."

Scanning the control panels, he sighed. "Anyway, I thought it would be better to go on a quick trip, clear the synapses"

"This was the thing? You're bored and your dragging me along? I knew it"

"I hadn't seen you in a few days, and you were busy with your laundry, and pride, and whatever, and now you're not busy. It will be quick I promise, then you can sleep as long as you want and dream about your boyfriend"

Darting upstairs, she sank into the brown recliner, a grey hair clinging to her sweater. Picking off the intruder, she sighed. It was a sighing sort of day. He really missed her, but she spent so much time being cross that she really hadn't found the right way to go about it. It made her exhausted, but she couldn't tell him, it would only make things worse.

This time she didn't reply the Doctors taunt, and he understood that he was being rude again, and not as funny as he would have liked. He could hear her prolonged sigh as she flipped through the pages of her book. She wasn't pleased, she hadn't been for a little while and it was off-putting to try to figure her out. She looked a bit flushed once he took a real good look, and there was a small redness around her eyelids that wasn't there before. A pang of disappointment wanted to creep in, but it was scared away by the all too wonderful question. "So where are we going?"

His face tugged into a smile once more, and its effect greatly encouraged his playfulness. "Don't know, you're the control freak, you tell me."

That was wrong, but right, but wrong. He had to make it better, but that was the question.

"I am not a control freak" she retorted

"Yes you are."

Running upstairs, hints of his shampoo teased her nose as he passed. She should have known better then to invade his study with its home feel and perfect lighting.

He paced, going over his past notes, erasing things here and there. His various blackboards full of notes and scribbles gave him a thought, then he remembered the _Listen_ from his last theory about nightmares. He wasn't listening, that was the problem, kind of always had been. Susan flashed into his mind just then, and he remembered they had argued about their choices when they had to deal with the Sensorites.

Emotions were another thing he didn't take into account. What if she was missing P.E, or if she was giving him the five minutes and he interrupted. He really was an idiot.

She pretended not to bother with him, but every few moments she would glance up, spotting him with the chalk in his thin fingers, paused in the middle of thought.

"Do you ever wonder why we dream? He thought out loud

"I just assumed everyone did that?"

"This isn't the nightmare thing a few months ago, I mean regular old dreams"

"I'm not sure what you mean"

Her eyes blinked at an irregular rate, her face tense in an odd way, that was the answer.

"Interesting" he muttered as he went over the needed calculations.

"Hmm, what is?"

He didn't answer, his mind was a flurry of calculations and ideas. The scratch of chalk was a fairly pleasing sound, him thinking in his peculiar way, but something else grabbed her attention. Eyebrows, they dominated his face, they held her attention, nothing but a mess of eyebrows to entertain her bored mind as they danced in their odd little way. Serious eyebrows were always on call while the happy eyebrows were usually on holiday.

Traveling through all of time and space still had its moments, its peculiarities. There were moments when even the doctor wasn't sure where to go. Watching the way his brow furrowed while he was thinking, Clara thought out loud. "Doctor, can you dream? Do you actually do that"

Scribbling faster, he tried to keep up with thinking over the question without giving away the surprise. Glancing away from his blackboard, he gave her the look, the do-really-to-answer-this look. She felt the flush of embarrassment, a bit thrilling and frightening, but she had to finish what she started. "Do time lords sleep or is there no time for that?"

"Dreams are successions of images, ideas, emotions, and sensations that occur usually involuntarily in the mind during certain stages of sleep. Everyone dreams Clara, even rocks dream, but that is a different story. Why? Is this about the dream crabs again?"

Hopefully it wasn't dream crabs, and remembering it was upsetting and made him sigh.

"Yes and no."

She was confused again, and her cheeks carried that unnatural redness. If only he could use his screwdriver, but she hated it when he analyzed her, besides it could have been menses. He played it cool with his serious face, "Tell me, it can't be that farfetched"

"It's just, I don't know, I never thought about it before. I mean, what do you dream about? Is it weird or do you dream about the usual stuff like showing up to school in just your knickers?"

Taking into account the information, he didn't want to admit it. "Underwear: An article of clothing which, when kept clean, ensures the wearer will never have an accident."

"Knickers, underwear, whatever. Do you dream about them?

Everyone did, but he wasn't going to answer it. "Knickers? Who shows up to school in just their knickers? Can you imagine if Calvin Klein thought it was a good idea if you exposed him for all the world to see? No, of course not"

"I guess that only works if you're David Beckham. Hmm, so you dream about weird stuff, I knew it. Must be free radical, radioactive knickers, from the planet Landros, where they get on and grow on trees made of nothing but the whispers of hermit crabs"

Dropping the chalk, he placed his hands on the arm rest of the chair, a little too close for comfort. Internally, she remembered she forget her ChapStick. "Do you really want to know?" Was his breathless question, having no respect for personal space.

He had that look in his eyes, the determination, the wonder, waiting for her to make up her mind. His jumper sparked as the lamp light touched it, he really looked brilliant.

It was over thirty seconds and she still hadn't answered, she really was letting herself go. She looked uncomfortable, was it his breath? Could she smell all the jelly babies he just had?

"Does my breath stink? Is that why you look unhappy?"

He really was uncomfortably close and he didn't know what he was doing to her. Anyone watching would have thought it odd, for from a certain angle he looked ready to kiss her, but he was just waiting for the answer in his naive sort of way. He didn't know that he was being confusing, or that she might fancy him, he only wanted her to be happy, to fix the problem. He backed away soon after to Clara's relief, and she answered. "About your underwear, no thank you"

She didn't say anything about his breath, it must have been the problem. "No not that, something else"

Running off, he brushed his teeth and gathered the necessary supplies.

She sat there catching her breath, slightly disappointed. Was he really going to...No, that wouldn't happen unless... Unless he finally noticed that she was a girl. No one stands that close and asks about their breath unless... He was into her?

No, she planned to play it cool, and try not to scare him away.

Returning with a big box he set it down and it was explanation time. "Put that helmet on"

"Why?"

"You don't want to?"

What if the weird equipment was part of a ritual? What if this meant complete acceptance? She wanted to try it, but she was wary. "Depends, will it hurt?"

"It will be like dropping a piano"

Putting the helmet down she sighed. It really was confusing, and he was being ambiguous. "Is that part of it? I don't think I'm ready for that kind of commitment"

"What are you talking about?"

"Didn't you say you were dropping a piano?"

"No, transcending dreams. You know Clara, you're losing your touch"

He regretted saying that, but he had to keep the natural flow or she would know that he knew. "What if everything you thought you knew was nothing but static scratching the inside of your eyeballs and implanting images of gobbledygook while you think you're holding hands with the prince of mars? Who by the way is happily married to his fifty wives, so I wouldn't recommend it unless your planning to be a blind concubine"

"Just get on"

"What if you were really drowning in a sea of amber, and those rose colored thoughts were nothing but a blink in a another existence?"

"I don't always dream, sometimes I just sleep"

He knew. Sometimes he would even watch, but she didn't know that.

"But what about during the day when you think you're awake but you're daydreaming? Is it your mind on energy saver mode, or is it just white noise?"

Shrugging her shoulders, she watched as he ran around, gathering things here and there. Handing her the helmet, he gestured. "Put it on, it won't bite much"

Then he proceeded to put one on as well. "What are we doing again?"

"You're going to enter my dreams, only to observe. You must not interfere with my subconscious, and I must warn you, there are parts that I don't remember, and dark places I rather not remember so be gentle."

She was disappointed again, and he didn't get it "Does it work the other way around?"

"No, it shouldn't. Anyway, there is nothing to worry about. And if you see John, then remind him he's an idiot"

"Who?"

"You'll see. I'm now going to do a mental link with you, remember, piano."

"When this is all over, we need to talk"

Her face was in such distress that he thought she finally decided it was all over and this was their last adventure. He smiled weakly, and flipped the switch. "Goodnight Clara"

That was it, when it was over things were going to change. Laying back she flipped the switch. "Sleep well doctor"


	2. Chapter 2

***I don't own anything.**

 **I'm glad I finally got chapter two up. I apologize if the characters seem oc, my first DW fic and well I know it could always be better, but this is fun. Still got four or five more chapters to edit but hope you'll enjoy this. Probably should have mentioned this is au, like if we forgot everything that happened to Clara death and kept the adventure going if Face the Raven never happened, then I hoped they could have had a great time doing anything else. Okay, so hope you enjoy!**

* * *

 **Chapter 2**

 _"Well look at that, the Doctors taking a nap"_

 _"Do you think we should wake him Ian?"_

 _"Leave him Barbara, he'll wake up soon enough. Besides, the Doctor's actually keeping out of trouble for once"_

 _"Susan, do you know where we are?"_

 _"I couldn't say, but it appears we might need a sun hat"_

 _"I'd say it's perfect weather for sunbathing, wouldn't you say Barbara?"_

 _"I couldn't say, I burn quite easily"_

 _"Don't worry Barbara, grandfather has some strong sunscreen. Oh, but I don't remember where it is. Grandfather, where is it? Is it with the medical supplies?_

The voices in his head all sounded familiar, they spun in a colorblind carousel, but he didn't stir. The young girl, most of all held most of his attention. The light voice stood close to his ear, hints of familiarity coloring it's tone. " _Wake up grandfather"_

Was "grandfather" now his title? At one time he believed he might have been, and what times those where, back in the days when the world felt less dangerous. There was another woman nearby, but she didn't latch in to his memory as well. Yet, there was a warmth in her voice as well. _"There's no need to wake him Susan, if I wrap up correctly I'll be fine"_

It all followed by the enthusiasm of a man, with similar warmth and general agreeableness. _"Look! I think I see can the pyramids. The Doctor's not going to want to miss this"_

 _"Oh, I can't wait"_

 _"It feels like forever since we've been to Egypt, Crocodilopolis gave us quite a scare last time. Oh, I forgot, you two have never been to Egypt before."_

 _"If it's anything like the Aztecs, then we'll find a way. Come along Barbara, we'll get a head start. Susan, when the Doctor wakes, meet us, let say the entrance of the Sphinx"_

 _"Do please be careful"_

Such a pretty young girl tried to wake him while he was in middle of wonderful dream, especially after the last adventure, a long rest was what he had hoped for. However, she looked especially anxious as well as equally impatient. _"Come on grandfather, the others are waiting, we can't let them go far without you. What if they get lost?"_

His lips puckered, trying to pronounce it. "Su..su...su..su"

 _"It's Susan, do please wake up, Ian and Barbara are waiting"_

All of time and space had seen it's fair share of humans hadn't it? The girl though, she was special, with the elfish face, those wide eyes which carried the wonder of the world in them. This face didn't belong to his current companion though, it was an ancient memory. Yet, the Doctor didn't stir, all the while an animal stared at him in expectation.

 _"Grandfather"_ the voice called.

The Doctor flinched, he knew that voice, but he couldn't remember at the moment. He watched as a man called the Doctor was led away by the one called Susan. She smiled at him brightly and tugged on his arm. " _Come on grandfather let's go!"_

The sun acted cruelly, licking his uncovered flesh in cancerous illumination. Peck, peck, peck, the vulture pecked at his nose, and the Doctor scrambled to his feet, "Susan! My child, where are you?", but she was nowhere to be seen.

Then he remembered, it was only a dream, or a memory, a bit of both. All around him wasn't the Tardis insides, or a landscape with a richer history then the Beatles, but a desert that almost made a victim of him. Looking straight at the vulture, it looked back at him with proud acceptance. "Go away! Scram!", he yelled, "Nothing to eat here!"

It stared at him in quiet expectation, waiting, waiting for another word. "Do you have any idea what you've done?" He complained, though the bird turned its head in confusion. "You probably don't understand, but I was having a good night's sleep"

Shaking it's head, it still didn't understand. "Fine, be indifferent, since you've interrupted the only peace I could ever have. Now go!"

The creature nodded her head in acquiescence, and flew away. It moved silently like the air, glided away with an unrecognized elegance, and the Doctor almost missed it. "I'm sorry, didn't mean to ruffle your feathers. If I would have known you were a lady, then there wouldn't have been any fowl play."

He staggered a bit, almost like he took to the drink, and he groaned with effort to stand. Where was he? A fog covered his mind in a sticky residue, and he barely remembered his right from his left for the briefest of moments. By now he was asleep, but he had woken into another dream. The creature then flew past his head, winked, and dropped a pod of cocoa beans before it was out of sight. He instantly understood. "Birdie come back! If you want we can grab Mexican or something."

"Doctor, I don't think it's coming back"

"Tell me Clara, who am I to interrupt a preying bird?"

"What?"

"How was I supposed to know the poor creature was trying to confess it's feelings to me? It wouldn't be my first trip around the block, and I probably wouldn't have listened, but it would have been fascinating to hear her offer"

"Doctor I don't see what you mean?"

Holding up the pod, she looked it over but it didn't ring any bells. "You're going to make hot chocolate?"

"No, it reminded me of something that happened so long ago, but the cocoa beans say it all perfectly. Oh well, there's plenty of egrets out there, she'll get over me"

"Yeah, I wouldn't come back to lines like those either"

Pocketing the beans, he shook the dust off his coat, and looked around. No trees or bushes, no plants around, not exactly a place you'd go on holiday. The wind howled, and there was no sunhat he could wear to shade himself from the unforgiving sun. He thought up trees, but they'd wither away, or walking on ice, but it added to the humidity. "Clara, can you lower the temperature in the Tardis? I'm burning up"

"It's not exactly Hawaii here"

"That's just your mind telling you so"

"You get to say that don't you, because I'm here dealing with it while you're talking to strange birds"

"Right now my mind is screaming about how hot it is, do something, anything"

The Tardis understood, and lowered the temperature. Clara could see her breath, but she thought a little cold couldn't bother anyone. It still wasn't enough. "It's too hot, I might have a teething fever"

"I'm going try something else"

It took some effort, but she managed to pull off his coat and wrapped it around herself. Inside the coat he had an odd amount of pockets, random things like spoons, even a random nectarine could be found. All the while the Doctor smiled in relief. "Much better"

His name was called in the distance, but he knew it wasn't for intended for him, almost like someone whispered in his ears, but it echoed gently. Then, there was a figure in the distance. He looked over his shoulder, and he could swear someone else was there, watching, laughing, anticipating his movements, but there was no one but the wind and Clara listening on the other side. Pushing the thought away, he started to walk around, hoping to find something.

There was another shift of temperature in the Tardis, slightly warmer to Clara's relief, but the coat was going to stay on. The console blipped and blinked, the lights dimmed, adding to the mood, and there was no one but her steady breathing and the Doctor as company. As the observer, there wasn't much going on, the Doctor scanned things and kicked imaginary rocks, it wasn't all that interesting. No, the real show was watching the sleeping Doctor.

Almost like a documentary, she made a through examination. In his waking hours, he carried a vibrancy in his eyes, his face shifted all of the time, lips twisting in scowls or smiles, eyebrows with such personality all their own they deserved a talk show, while the forehead sighed. His resting, was a secret surprise. He once said he slept while she wasn't looking, but now he wouldn't have cause to say as such. What was so bitter about a cross looking face? One that could never allow him to be the "good" guy? A learned man with all the experience of tomorrow's and yesterday's, with a touch of something new, carrying the wonder of a child at times, what could she do? He was impossible.

So she watched while he dreamed, and it was so fixing it made her sigh. His fingers twitched ever so slightly each time he used the sonic screwdriver. His nose pinched as she blew warm breath upon his face, and he blew a raspberry in unconscious reply. Nothing special, it wasn't anything she hadn't seen, but it made her heart dance like it was the birth of dawn. What a silly old man she thought, his face relaxed, his arms crossed, vulnerable in a defensive way, and so pale as though he tanned under the moon.

What would it be like to touch that face? The face that had seen the birth of stars, and every possible impossibility, but gave her the time to share those moments too? Oh, how decadent such memories were, that spilled over as they were continually renewed. It would be alright, he wouldn't have to know.

A springy reluctance took her hand, and started from the tip of his nose, making small circles, leading down to his soft cheeks, paused by a tiny prickle of stubble which surprised her. He shaved, he was shaving sort of man. She pulled her curious hand away, an arpeggio of thoughts. She hadn't realized it before, but he seemed more like a man, like a human then she ever thought, even though his hearts said otherwise. Shaking her head, she rested her hands upon her lap. She learned something about him, and it was going to be a long night.

Meanwhile, the Doctor had been walking around for hours, the most interesting thing being the yawning rock. Why wasn't he in rem sleep yet? "Clara, how long has it been?"

"Only about thirty minutes, but you'd know that wouldn't you?"

"Time travels faster in dreams. I'm bored, this is partly your fault"

"How is it my fault?"

"Don't know, was hoping you would think of a reason it would be"

Just like a black Friday sale, he teased with his alluring charm, even when he wasn't trying. She laughed lightly, as the eyebrows shot up like a wave of greeting and surprise. "You're an adrenaline junkie starman, I'm sure somethings waiting in the sky somewhere, hopefully it's all worthwhile"

"The chances seem very slim at this point"

"Then remind me why I'm here? I was fine with my book"

"You're fine, and I'm sure the toxic air was fine, and your boring short life was fine, but I had to phone someone so I picked on you since you weren't busy. Besides, I can't watch myself dream, that's would've been embarrassing"

"Come back, lets see what spring is like on Jupiter and Mars"

"Unless you want to get caught in a storm or become an alien bride then no"

"I've got a bit of a headache, is that supposed to happen?"

"You must be thinking too hard. Come on, try to relax, it will be over soon"

Relaxation is like a death wish, you make your peace before you do something outrageously stupid. "Okay" she whispered, before she knelt down beside him. It would have been so easy to steal what didn't belong to her, to brake the rule. No touching he said, no hugging, no affection of any kind. He almost didn't deserve being the way he was, but he deserved everything, waiting, rejoicing, eternity could bestow. "How do I relax Doctor?" She asked kindly

"Sit back, and quietly observe. Try not to think too much, causes too much static"

"Just keep talking, the voice really is enough"

Whatever did she mean when she said that? She had said it before, but then wasn't that just the way she was?

"I'm not sure if I should oblige you, you'd get tired of it"

"No, I wouldn't, would have told you to shut up by now"

"There should be a chair right next to you, take a seat"

Moving the chair close to the Doctor, she took up the little space between his left arm, and wrapped herself with it, all warm and snug. His other arm rested over his chest like a marble knight, and instead of carrying of a sword, he wore a ring which gleamed dangerously; his wedding ring. It soon found its way upon her ring finger, and she modeled it proudly, making the surprised face as though it were handed to her. Sadly, it slipped off with the flick of a wrist and she was forced to return it to its resting place.

"I'm resting now" she sighed

Haughtiness hung in the sky as the clouds rolled in. Pianos replaced the usual life giving substance, and it rained pianos, annoyingly noisy as they crashed all around him, leaving nothing but a cloud of crescendos. Finally, he was getting somewhere. He jumped joyfully, laughing like a madman, thinking up a conductors baton, and waved it around like he knew what it was all about. "Clara! Can you see me? Can you see my chaotic symphony?"

The noise only worsened her headache, but she laughed it off. "It looks just like a silent comedy, yeah, but without the comedy"

"I feel as though I can hear the moon crashing over my head, as though I'm swimming through the stars and they had never met me before their last shining moment. Oh, but my life and all the dreams I've never had, they all became a blur the moment a blue box spoke my name. Speak to me dreams, let me hear what nightmares are afraid of"

Thunderclaps touched down like a ballet of light, and the ground danced beneath his feet. The noise, it had no direction and trying to piece together bits of notes and rhythms made no difference, it was all noise. He tried jumping, nothing happened and soon enough it was boring, so he moved on. He walked calmly as they fell all around him, using the screwdriver he generated a sonic umbrella to reflect them. The dry earth beneath his feet bloomed with life, but it made no sense, since according to his findings the land was sterile. The mountains in the distance were proud, standing a ways apart from one another as they were forever cross, and they gleamed like polished marble.

Every so often there were shifts in temperature, nothing spectacular. He yawned, and slicked his hair back, Clara let out a peep at the sight. "What? See something?"

The weather cleared at the moment, replaced with dry air even salt would envy. He smacked his lips as though parched, thankfully not the loudest sound in the room. She could see him looking, waiting for reply to her observation. Everyday action had an under appreciated delight, she wished she gave greater attention. Now, she tried to shake off his curiosity, but now he had to know, it would be a let down to tell him. There was no way in the galaxy, take that back, the universe that she was going to admit it was beguiling. The night was proving to be too exciting, even for a bunch of sleeping rocks.

Pulling out a bag of crisps from one of the pockets, she started to munch on those. Why was it so hard to stay calm, it wasn't so difficult before. She had to think of something, but she would finish the crisps first.

The thunder was an angry crunch that almost suffocated with the salty dryness. Was a blue streak going to strike him? Worse, he was terribly peckish and there is nothing to eat.

Stuffing the empty bag of crisps in another pocket, she felt ready. "You know, earlier, you reminded me of one of those weird wristwatch commercials. The model or whoever will be right in the middle of nowhere, then they'll run their fingers through their hair and flash the watch. The whole commercial feels kind of pointless, but it grabs your attention, that is until they move on to the next commercial"

It was curious, she sounded agitated, but she wouldn't have need to, what was there to be bothered about. He thought it over, perhaps it was a compliment, but he didn't do anything special, he wasn't even wearing a watch. What was she really getting at? "Clara, I think I know what you're doing"

"No, no you don't"

He smiled slyly."There's no need to be ashamed, I know exactly what you're getting at. Oh Clara, Clara, Clara, Clara"

"Shut up"

"Clara, you wouldn't be the first to tell me this, and frankly I'm quite flattered"

Her breath hitched, and she was pretty sure her voice sounded unnatural. "No, I'm pretty sure you don't"

"You're saying I look charming," he chuckled, "that I look like a model. Now I know you must be sleep deprived, you're acting strange, or could be makeup messing with you after all"

The silence was wonderful, thank goodness for it. For once she felt relieved for his naivete, and disappointed at her attempt to hide it. Again she laughed, contrary to what she really wanted to say. "Nope, never, possibly, but not really, I'm calling you weird, you're very, very weird"

Something about the tone of her voice didn't sound right. She was hiding something again, but before he could think to call her out on it, a piece of rubbish hit him. Other pieces of rubbish then hit him in the face and kept hitting him in the face. Clara was relieved by comedic timing.

Opening a crumbled piece of paper, he saw an ad for a wristwatch. There was a girl sitting quite casually, with expectant shiny eyes, waiting, it read:

 _ **Timex,**_

 **YOU KNOW**

 **THE DIFFERENCE**

 **BETWEEN A LUNCH DATE**

 **AND A DATE DATE**

Nope, he was wrong, she was definitely not calling him a model and preferred Casio anyway. He threw the paper away, and the rubbish didn't appreciate the treatment. Immediately it turned into a group of sands flies that began biting at the back at his neck. It looked like he was trying to swat the air away from her side, and she giggled as he furrowed his brow in frustration. The angry brows could take on an army all their own, she thought. She listened and watched intently to see how he could find a way out of it, but it was mostly amusing. With a quick thought, he retrieved his sonic sunglasses and guitar, "This is my party, and you're not invited", and he blasted riffs that scared them away.

With his guitar on hand, he strummed away, singing a throaty, snappy, rockish version of Love Me Do.

 _ **Love, love me do**_

 _ **You know I love you**_

 _ **I'll always be true**_

 _ **So pleeeassse, love me do**_

Lowering his glasses, he roared with a power unlike she'd known, and it made her feel alive.

 _ **Whoooaa! Love me dooo!**_

In real time his face smiled, he was in his element, every moment bringing a surprise. Then he stuck his tongue out like a teenager. "Do you take requests, because I'd really like to hear Rebel Rebel"

"A girl with taste, now this is why I keep you around"

"You keep me around because being without me would mean developing a conscience of your own. If only you could see yourself right now, perhaps I'll take a selfie. You make the most interesting faces"

"What? I'm making a face?"

"Yeah"

Hr shrugged it off, it was out of his control anyway. Riff after riff, those chords rung, it was a thing to admire. It was the perfect axe, it was romance in heavy metal, and he kissed it, finding it absolute perfection. "Yes, this is more like it"

"Should I leave you alone?"

"It's not like it's going to snog me now is it?"

"Can't say, though that would be weird. Anyway, I didn't know you could sing, could you always do that?"

"Well I don't sing, not anymore. Used to be in a band called The Dreamboys, a punk rock band everyone assumed were another group of sellout posers. Music is in my blood, that I can't ever forget"

"The Dreamboys? Hmm, with a name like that someone could mistake you for several things."

"It was art housey, eternal suffering of my soul stuff, a bit ahead of it's time"

"No it's not, found a few songs on YouTube. It's sounds like something you'd hear in the 80's, very stylish yeah"

"Why is everything on YouTube these days? I'll be sure to go back and erase it"

"You don't have that many songs. Why?"

"After the first album didn't sell well, we parted ways, made something of ourselves. Look at me? What do you see?"

"An ageing time lord rocker who is forgetting to act his age"

"And 2000 years never looked so good"

Chord after chord was a smile and a joy. He was having fun, it was his birthright.

"Okay, so I thought your voice was nice, bit a rockstar you are, but if I would have known earlier, then we could have entered the summer fete last year"

"Sorry dudette, but I don't play for free"

"Do people say 'dudette' anymore?"

"Anyway, that was a sample, but I'll be sure to charge next time"

As he went on, a termite bowed his head before calling the rest of his colony to join him. She watched as it ate away while the Doctor gave his Grammy speech. Together the colony silently attacked the guitar, turning it dust, nothing left but a pile of guitar string by the end of his rant.

"Doctor, I appreciate your enthusiasm, but you might want to look down"

"Ugh! Just when things were getting interesting"

"Since when has there ever been a dull moment? You must not like yourself very much, why else would you cause so much trouble for yourself? Testing out to see if you still got it?"

"I'm as sharp as ever, better even. You're just jealous you were born with a pudding brain. The good news is that by sticking around with me you've redeemed yourself, and are not such a pudding brain, just narcissistic"

"I am not"

"Oh Clara"

He missed it, their witty retort, their were of conversation, it made him feel good, as though he were sightly more alive. "Clara, Clara, Clara, Clara, Clara, Clara... Clara"

"Don't you ever get tired of saying that?"

"How could I? I never get tired of hearing you call my name, hearing it bounce off the walls, around the corners, in the kitchen"

"In the kitchen?"

"Yeah, especially when you're telling me not to talk to the fish"

That explained a lot. "I think they're missing you Doctor, don't know what you did, but you've had quite an impact"

He had quite an impact on her as well, but of course didn't say, and like a grace note, the moment was gone. "Imagine it Clara, If you had to live in your own toilet"

"Eww, that is pretty bad"

"I doubt anyone would be pleased, but don't worry, perhaps it's something else. They might not like the new food, or the change of weather. I'll be sure to ask them when I get a chance"

"What do you guys talk about usually?"

"You mean the ladies. They really are a group of shameless flirts, but most of it I couldn't tell you. And jokes, they really are naughty"

"Only because you might be teaching it to them"

"Please, it would serve no other purpose then to annoy you. Now I'll never tell, but do watch your language around them, their very receptive. And lay off the sushi for a while, fish are friends, and sometimes food"

The thought of the possibility of sentient sushi talking back was a bit unsettling. Change of subject wasn't much better. "Next you're going to tell me that static cling is an illness"

"Well..."

"Shut up, don't want to know. You on the other hand should worry about the weather. It's starting to get cloudy again"

The hair on his arms stood at its ends, he felt a storm was approaching. "Quite so"

Then there was sighs, a years worth of sigh and the oncoming storm approached faster. "You're sighing again Clara"

"It's nothing, just sighing"

Feeling his skin prickle, and nerves tingling, he had to calm. The static was messing with his senses, but it didn't affect his mind. More sighing, and his skin began to sting, his hearts aching unknowingly. Yet, he knew something was off about Clara, it rung in his bones. "You must be tired, but please buck up, I'm going to need you alert and focused"

"Sorry, I guess I got a little distracted"

"With what?"

"Nothing. Just thinking"

"I know, I can hear it in your voice, it's everywhere like static running over my skin. I can feel it in the air, its dangerous currents threatening to run. So, what are you thinking? You must tell me, I'm sure it's something good"

"Wax poetic, really?"

"You know, it's my way of saying I care about what your thinking, and if I didn't know better, I'd say you're worried about something. Come, tell your bezzie mate whats the matter"

"Remember when you first regenerated?"

"I try not to"

"You looked at me like I was a bird in a cage, your eyes studied me like a confused owl, and you knew nothing about personal space. I had seen you so confused, and you squirmed, hunched over, and then your whole body retracted. Yeah, you were yelling 'Kidneys! I got new kidneys! But I don't like the colour', and I wasn't sure what to do with you then, but when we met the dinosaur it was only the beginning and... Well you remember the rest"

He bit his thumb, checking the air direction, nothing about it was logical. Pretending to be busy, he replied quickly. "Oh, you remember that do you?"

"Seriously? Don't tell me you forget?"

"I might have traded the memory for a sandwich"

"You can't be serious?"

"Why, does that bother you?"

Being a teacher, she'd had her fair share of stupid questions, many times without the ability to say they were. However, the Doctor had an insensitive way of asking truly stupid questions. Her nails dug into her palms, and the Doctors sleeping face remained unfazed and unchanged. She was cross, but how much of it actually mattered? She didn't want to know.

"Yes, it does very much. It was special, the first I ever that face of yours and it will never happen again. How you can let go of a memory so cheaply? How you do it really makes me ashamed, but it's your memory, I can't do anything about. Just know that when I think about it, I'm reminded about how far we've come"

He lied, he didn't really forget it, but it wasn't his finest moment. He was confused at that time, he said many hurtful things, it was the beginning of the lies. He wasn't going to be like bow tie, or like the one who lost a piece of himself, or the one with all the anger, he had to get serious, but he wasn't doing a good job. The mistakes had to be fixed, but he was still figuring it out. "I'm sorry, I'll be sure to remember it next time"

"You better, or I'll slap you so hard you'll regenerate"

"Of course boss"

The grip she had on the Doctor tightened, and she felt the anger melt away.

The breeze softened and warmed to comfortable temperature. The sweet air smelled of biscuits, and made him a bit peckish, but he didn't crave biscuits. "The helmet isn't equipped with scent detectors, but if you must know the air smells like biscuits."

Putting away the half eaten biscuit, she squinted to focus on the coming storm. "You alright?"

"I'm bored. Say something clever, I dare you"

Balancing jelly babies on his nose, it took a few seconds to think over. "Not sure if this is clever, but you remember Courtney Woods right?"

Taking a seat on a large rock, he looked up at the sky, making small circles with his arms. "The disruptive influence one? Yes, think so"

Trying not to laugh as his face twitched with his mental effort, she poked his cheek and it stopped. "She's no longer a disruptive influence, and she's actually doing better. Told me she was thinking of visiting the moon again, become an astronaut and such. Now, who do you think inspired her to do that?"

"Me?"

"Yes you, you really made her feel special, almost makes me jealous"

"Unfortunately she failed the companion test, but she had a great teacher to show her the way"

"You're being nice, why are you being nice?"

"Because it works on you"

"You should do it more often, it's pleasant"

"I'm still bored and peckish, too bad you couldn't send me some Chinese food"

"So, dreaming, where is it?"

"I guess I haven't dreamt of anything special yet"

"Watching all those things happen at your expense is better then the Netflix"

Warmth hung on ever complimenting syllable, with every joke, and laugh that he heard at his expense. That was all he wanted, but something more was at its basis. "Say Clara, how was it, doing your wash I mean?"

"Oh yes, haven't got to it"

"It's all games with you today isn't it? I can't imagine what you were so busy with, but if you weren't doing the wash, then what we're you doing all this time?"

Being alone, bored, too much food. "Existing, getting on, hoping no one would notice I put on three pounds"

"Really?"

"It was boring if you really must know"

"Should have called, I would have picked you up"

"I couldn't, phones broken"

"Didn't I just buy you a new one? Why didn't you let me fix it for you?"

Passing her hand over her phone, it stung. How could she tell him, he wouldn't understand, he wasn't that of person anymore. "Somethings can't be fixed"

The last syllable hung longer then intended, and he picked up on it, but she didn't say. Clara had enough, and frowned in real time, letting his hand go. Once she left the warmth of arm, the Doctor got cold. The air became smoggy, the ground muddy, worse was that he was now missing a boot. "Great, now my shoe. What sort of bauchle am I?"

She was so tired, and she didn't feel the strength to stand. Using the railing, she felt her way upstairs, and sunk into the familiar chair. "I don't know Doctor, I don't know"

She yawned, it's contagious drowsiness made him yawn. "Stay awake Clara, I need you alert and focused."

She heard the _I need you,_ and she smiled. "Of course Doctor, of course"

"Have you learned anything?"

"Never..."

"Never trust a dream"

"Not very exciting is it Doctor?"

"No, afraid not. Now I'm going to need you to press the button on the left shaped like a jelly bean"

She didn't answer, and he called out again. "Clara! Clara can you hear me?"

It was too late and she fell asleep. He sighed, pushed a button on his belt and woke up. He shivered at the extreme shift of temperature and quickly adjusted the settings. He noticed his coat was missing, as well as Clara. The auxiliary cable upstairs traveled all the way upstairs, so he followed it, stopping where the small teacher was curled up, fast asleep. "Oh Clara" Was all he could say.

The helmet come off with ease, but he left the jacket, it suited her. Still, she shivered slightly. He panicked, feeling all the more an idiot as he searched for a duvet. It appeared dramatic, but he ran with the large duvet, hoping she wouldn't have to be cold a moment longer, and tucked it around her, so well that all that could be seen was her head. Up close she smelled of coffee and sharpened pencils, it was a strange smell. In a way it was pleasant, and he took another whiff, unaware of how completely inappropriate it was. She must have had a wash he thought, then stood back to look at her. Where could three pounds go? Into her shoes? Perhaps her brain, her face was wide, but she looked alright, it never really was a big deal.

She twitched and he froze, he was going to get caught, but she kept on sleeping. What a curiously wonderful sight, all wrapped up in Clara, so wonderfully made he thought. Strange, he didn't mind looking at her, it was pleasant, but when she shifted a bit, he felt his blood burn and he went away once he realized he was looking at her too long.

She made him feel strange, she kind of always did, and he knew that it was wrong.


	3. Chapter 3

***I don't own anything!**

 **this was a smaller chapter, quite loved this one, hopefully you will too!**

* * *

 **Chapter 3**

When she opened her eyes she was back in her bed, the pile of marking done and Pride and Prejudice on her lap. What an odd dream she thought, but she felt her heart lighter, happy that somehow she was able to see the Doctor. Glancing over at her phone, she thought perhaps it wouldn't hurt to give him a ring, he would come and take her away, and put everything else behind. Yet, she still wanted to get full nights sleep, and grabbed the duvet which hung off the foot of the bed, and wrapped it around herself. Her breath hitched, then she smelled it again. This was her duvet, it smelled like the Doctor. "Oh no, oh no, oh no, what have I done?"

She blew it, the chance to tell him, but then again it all could have been a weird dream, or she currently could be in the middle of a dream. She slapped her cheeks, she pinched her arm, and pricked her finger with a needle, it was real and there was no headache. She failed him, and now he would be cross and they won't see each other. Her chance to start over, to make herself forget what she felt, the chance to tell him everything, and she blew it.

She clung tightly to the duvet, abashed, enthralled, afraid, and alone. This was all she had left of him, then the familiar hum sang through the hallways. She ran downstairs, duvet and all, waiting for it to come in view. Then the doors opened with their blinding light spilling out, and there he was, hunched over the control panel.

She walked in, closed the door, and smiled. Folding the duvet, she held it up. "Where do you want this?"

His back greeted her, stiff in cold reply. "Anywhere, doesn't really matter"

"Are you... Are you cross with me?"

Prying his fingers off the control panel, his eyes shot as her with a furiosity she'd never seen him use with her. "You were supposed to stay awake"

"But you're fine"

"I had a failsafe, but that's not the point."

She didn't appreciate his tone, it made her eyes bite. "I told you I was tired, and you were like 'Get into the Tardis, air is toxic', and sort of idiocy"

Turning around completely, he was dressed in his respectable attire, no sparkly jumper, no sunglasses, just white dress shirt and the navy coat with the red lining. "So," every wrinkle twisted in a frown, "this is how you plan to end it do you?"

Bile burned in her throat, everything around her began to feel like a nightmare. "What are you saying?"

"I'm saying that after this, you can return back to your boring life and your boring flat and all those silly boring boyfriends. I'm sick and tired of trying to take care of you, and trying to show someone the sights and wonders of the universe and not appreciate them"

She threw the duvet down with all her force, pointing her pretty polished nail at him. "Don't you dare think that this is all my fault. You were the one that came into my life and changed it and showed me things, all I wanted was tech support"

He closed his eyes, wanting it all to disappear, but when he opened then she still stood there with red rimmed eyes, every bit determined not to cry. He almost broke, he didn't want it like this, things just weren't going right. However, his anger burned too hotly, unsure why he was more angry now then all the other times. Perhaps because he thought she could trust him, perhaps because she was so confusing, perhaps because she was human. Clara Oswald was a human and she didn't deserve it. "Fine, when all of this is over I hope you regret it"

He couldn't mean it, but he did, she could tell by the coldness that yelled from his cornea's. That did it, it broke her reservoir of tears, and they just wouldn't listen. "You don't mean that" she sniffled.

The crying really was the cherry on top. Always, everything would get better when she cried, but no, he hurt, perhaps more so. And more anger then a body should hold. "What do I mean then?" He barked, "What do I bloody mean? Do you think that I don't know? That I'm stupid? Do you think I don't know when I'm being lied too? Oh, I've spent a good amount of my life trying to get away from liars and a good time learning from them. You weren't doing your wash, so what were you doing?"

"How do you know I didn't do the wash?"

"I saw you, you were just..."

"What? I was what?"

Thinking back to when he brought her back home and felt worried that she wasn't resting enough. Then while he removed his jacket from her he saw it, the not broken phone slip out of the pocket of his jacket, still perfect as the day he bought it. He left the room right away then, waiting to enter the Tardis, waiting until it was back in the middle of empty space, tearing things apart, yelling things no one should hear, feeling more used then ever. The fantasy in his head was broken, and he remembered, humans are imperfect, and they commit the worst of sins.

Looking back at her with that still fresh recollection, he hissed. "Your phone wasn't broken neither, I checked it. You lied Clara, why?"

"I don't know, I just, I'm losing control of my life and you're not making it any easier"

His fault, his fault, it was always his fault. What had he done that made him deserve it? Perhaps it was everything, for trusting, for thinking there was something good found wrapped up in a pile in a walking pile of flesh called Clara Oswald. He hated his life.

Silence, and its quiet was a threatening thing.

His jaw clenched, but then it relaxed and he put on the serious, sarcastic face. "Let's go on a trip. Anywhere in space and time, one you'll never forget. Then you can go, and I won't need you anymore"

Honestly, she knew she deserved it, but not that way, not that way. She had her chances, there was no more shame, no more pain. She stood proudly, in her indignant way, her eyes burning with every human feeling, it stung him deeper. "What do you Clara to do?" Was her reply.

Clutching at his chest, he simmered. "I want me and Clara to go on a trip, not to worry about anything serious, and forget this ever happened. Oh, and to go back to the way things were"

"Clara can go on a trip, she can do that, she can do that real good, except she can't go back to the way things were, she's changed. However, I know where she wants to go"

Taking the helmet, she put it on. "Time for the center of the Doctor"

Grabbing his helmet, he curtsied sarcastically. "Thought my lady would never ask"

Watching him rest and let out a furious sigh, he closed his eyes for what she worried would be the last. Trying to grab his hand, he pulled away furiously. "Goodnight Doctor"

"Piano"

* * *

Clouds rolled in, raining pianos, annoyingly noisy as they crashed all around him, leaving nothing but a cloud of crescendos.

With fake enthusiasm he jumped up and down waving. "Clara! Can you see me? Can you see my chaotic symphony?"

She replied with empty enthusiasm. "Charlie Chaplin, yeah"

"Do try a little more enthusiasm, this isn't a funeral"

"Your face could say otherwise"

Enough, this was not what he wanted. Bending down, he threw sand into his eyes and they burned, but not as badly as his feelings did. "Clara, I know you just saw that, and you're watching, but I can't find you. I don't want to fight with you, I just want to have a good time with my friend, but I can't seem to find her. If you know her then please tell her where she can find me, to return and tell me where she is"

"I'm right here, but you can't see me"

Closing his eyes, a real tear escaped, hitting the ground like a thousand thunderclaps. The dry earth began to bloom, a bud barely able to stand. Holding it ever so gently, he sighed. "Please, just find me"

It ached real bad to think about, it hardly could reach her eyes fast enough, but she wanted to. In the voice laced with every goodness he remembered, she sung. "Doctor?"

His hearts leaped, and because he never learned, he forgave her because she was still there, even if he couldn't see her. Keeping up with they way they usually get on, the end would be waiting, and now he was persuaded to pause and take as long as he wanted, until something went right. "Ah, there you are Clara."

She hiccupped, and recovered, her spirits improved greatly. "I'm here Doctor, was there something you wanted to tell me?"

"Did you know it was a good thing I changed my knickers. If you really want to see them, then look on the top shelf. You might need you're heels for the job, but really they're not radical free"

"Nevermind. Go on, show me some real dreaming"

"You're stunting my creativity"

"I'm just the observing remember"

"More like a critic"

Just as soon as he was about to laugh, explosions rung in his ears. Burning, so much burning and there was nothing he could do. Here scraped at his skin, trying to remove the burning. The sky above burst into color, they both watched the scene unfold, for one a wonder, the other a stab.

The burnt orange sky stained the surroundings, his eyes shielding it's radiance. Then it was gone in a blink, replaced by the empty grey skies. Silence, he was down on his knees, grabbing patches of earth and throwing it away. He yelled, he screamed, then he remembered she was looking. "I can almost see it, you have no idea"

"Doctor, was that-"

"Yes, it's been so long I can hardly remember. I can't remember anything anymore"

Taking the doctors hand she kissed it, him unaware of what was going on in real time. However, he felt a wave of comfort wash over him, and he didn't know why. "Clara," he called, "can you hear me?"

His hand was such a great hand, it was a soft wrinkly hand that brought a familiar comfort like her grandparents hands but with different effect. The hands that touched the world, in her grasp yet hard to reach. Rubbing his hand against her cheek, she replied with fake cheerfulness, a fair smile decorating her face. "I only hear what you want me to, only what you want me to"

It was like talking on the phone, her voice in his ear, in the air, in the ground, it was everywhere. "Forget what you heard and remember everything starting now"

"I'll try"

Closing his eyes, he was back to pianos, their sound threatening. "Should I try the piano?"

"It's your dream"

"One can't believe impossible things"

"But they can, don't you know?"

Crying again, she was crying without reserve, it was crying sort of day. In real time the tears ran down her cheeks, and in the dream it began to rain upon the Doctor. "Why, why is it so awfully driech outside? Why can't it ever rain money? At least then I can get a Ferrari"

His sleeping face twitched oddly, it was a confusing, but amusing thing. "Do you even know how to drive?"

"While your were busy being a Zygon, I showed Osgood all the local sights, jumped off a plane, you would have loved it.

By this time the water was up to his knees and all there was left was a piano. Opening the lid to a Bentley, he kicked a pebble inside, he couldn't hear it land. "It's going to be whopper"

"What?"

With a leap, he landed in a mess of wires. The more he struggled, the more constricting it became. If he sighed it got tighter, if he frowned they got looser. The more they tightened the more he groaned in agony, Clara cringing in horror as she could do nothing but listen helplessly. "Doctor!"

Then they slacked a bit. "Do not interfere, I am in control"

Scrambling for his screwdriver, he dropped it thinking it never it return. "Oops"

The wires were sentient, and according to logic, he had to calm him emotions. Everything was fine, until he had to breath, then they pierced his cheek, and it became barbed. "Doctor!" She cried, "Can I shut this off, is there anyth-"

"No!"

Then something slashed through the wires, placing the screwdriver back in his hands. He could see nothing but the emptiness of dark air, but whoever it was left but a _Hello sweetie._

"River runs through here, I just noticed that"

Water ran past his feet, but then it slowed. Darkness became light with the hum of his screwdriver, and then there was darkness once more when it failed.

"I can't see you, is everything alright?"

"Entertained yet? Stupid screwdriver is not working"

Deciding she'd seen enough, she grabbed the Doctors hand and thought real hard until the static of her thoughts short circuited the helmet. With a small strain, she closed her eyes, and entered the dream state as well, and when they opened, she was a fluttering, small thing, as light as fairy, her hair in a small bun and a cute outfit to boot. "Doctor can you hear me?"

"If this turns into a musical I'm leaving"

"Doctor, it's me"

Fluttering around his eyes, they frowned in their silent way. "What have you done? I told you to stay in the Tardis"

"I had to help you"

He was a sketch hidden by shades of kohl. She was the stencil to his outline, every wrinkle not hidden, he really was old. It was not unseemly, his tired face was twisted in a smile, so kind with its own artistic style. When did she began to miss this face? When did it become a thing to remember?

"I should have thought this out better"

Landing on his nose, she looked up into those sharp eyes, his so clear she could swim in them. "How do I look?" She smiled, her body twisted into a girly pose.

"You light up the room in your sparkly green dress, still doesn't beat my jumper though"

He noticed what she was wearing, it was a start. "Why are you dressed like a banana?"

Waving his screwdriver around, his eyebrows shot up. "I am a good source of potassium, but I can't remember, something about always bring a banana rings a bell. "

"No sorry that's just my voice you're hearing, don't know how to make myself bigger"

"Drink this"

Handing her a bottle it said _Drink me_. "I'm not Alice"

"I'm not Mad Hatter neither"

"Such a shame too since you surely could pass for him, especially the Johnny Depp Version with the voice and the eyebrows."

"And I suppose all I'm missing now the funny hat? No, hat a funny scarf though, it was stupid, never going back. Now, go on, drink it, can't make things any worse"

So she did as she was told and Clara ventured to taste it, and, finding it very nice (it had, in fact, a sort of mixed flavour of cherry-tart, custard, pine-apple, roast turkey, toffy, and hot buttered toast), she very soon finished it off. However she was soon the size of an amoeba and not even his sharp eyes could spot her. Thinking that she was still in the palm of his hand, he took out the cake that said eat me and placed grain size of it on his hand hoping it would work. And soon enough she was visible enough and jumped away in time to land on the ground her regular size, otherwise looking like herself with a fairytale makeover. "Are you sure we haven't entered a story book Doctor? This can't be your mind?"

"While you were watching my thoughts, part of your consciousness must have slipped out and mingled with mine"

"Are you saying I infected you?"

"I was already affected, and infected. Should have known better, I told you not to interfere and now you're stuck. This is a collective dream now, who knows what our minds can conjure up"

"So I'm touching your mind, it's really dark in here"

"Then why not brighten the way princess?"

She literally glowed with anger, but that lit the way. "Brings a whole new meaning to 'You light up the room' doesn't it Clara"

"I'm a fairy, do try to keep up"

The floor was covered in a sticky mess, as he walked over, he realized it was jelly babies. When Clara wasn't looking, he grabbed a handful and kept going. Up ahead was she lightly grazed her fingers over the stone walls. He was amazed by the chemical reaction that caused her to glow. It made her look fascinating. "You're famously Clara, and this look really suits you, can't say you ever looked brighter"

"The outfit?"

"No the greenish glow"

"Of course"

She floated on by, looking back every so often to make sure the Doctor wasn't distracted. Those sharp eyes of his appeared to glow back at her and she glowed brightly with embarrassment. To him she was like a humanized firefly that was perverted by Disney. Yet he couldn't look away.

"Where are we going?"

"Don't know, reminds me of how the Tardis likes to move the rooms around."

"Did you choose this look for me"

"Matches your personality, but no I didn't. Never trust a dream"

"But it's your dream how can you not control it?"

"Language is worth a thousand pounds a word though that didn't make Robin Hood shut up. Nothing is controlled, we're just existing for the moment. Honestly, I think anything goes"

And with that, she was quiet and her glow dimmed. Suddenly, the floor fell beneath him, and she flew right after him. When his eyes opened, he was on the dance floor, the roar of laughter tickled their eyes as they focused on the parade of dancers as they swam in a sea of ambiguous frippery. "Doctor, Doctor?"

"Why am I sitting on the floor"

"I thought you were trying a banana split"

He smiled at her and the surrounding characters costumes seemed to upgrade. They looked around for a moment, and she commented. "Feels french wouldn't you say?"

"Not like how I remember,

Standing up, he scanned his surroundings. "You're almost right. There's french influence, but the reality is distorted."

"If I knew I would have changed"

It really was going to be a long night. "Its so crowded, who do you ask for drink around here?"

Calling over a waiter, he got a Romulan ale. "That's good, at least I can still drink"

"It smells gross"

Calling over another waiter, he got her a daiquiri. "Drink this"

"It tastes like bananas"

"I know, but I don't remember how I know"

She sipped lightly, her nose pinched in displeasure at the smell of his drink. Unhappy by the thought, he changed his ale to champagne, and placed a fragrant flower on his breast pocket. Then the smell was replaced by a anodyne sweet cologne. "That better?"

"Yes"

"Good, now I might need a few samples"

"You can't bring it with you"

"I'm talking about the food. Any calories consumed now will have no effect"

"Are you serious?"

"Why not, it's not real, might as well indulge"

Clara shied away from the snacks that moved, but the doctor thoroughly enjoyed the variety of the indescribable. Different species of creatures glided upon the floor, the music a fine vintage. She was slightly envious. "Everyone's dancing"

Scanning before taking a bite, he glanced around and commented. "Not everyone, that guy is getting cozy with a pint and that other guy is-"

"Mostly everyone is dancing"

"We're not"

He wasn't getting the hint. "Must be nice being you"

"I'm incredible, I'm mysterious, I'm-"

"Getting on my nerves"

"Can you imagine if we were allergic to stupidity? Would the human race stop all together?"

Looking away, she complained thoroughly. "Please pay attention. Why are we here?"

He wasn't listening, too distracted by the sights. At the top of the staircase, he spotted a familiar looking redhead. "You see that girl over there with the fiery hair? Now there's a girl who looks like she can hold her drink"

Looking where he pointed, she spotted a familiar looking face and looked away. "Did you see someone you know"

"Yeah she was right over-"

Looking again, she was gone, replaced by a faceless person in her place. "I thought I saw someone, but I lost them"

The dancers were clothed and masked in the most interesting fashions, some gaudy, others beautiful, a bit weird, but refreshing. "Those masks look incredible. What a masquerade, with everyone's faces behind masks, no one can find you"

The Doctor in the other hand wasn't big in the idea. "Must be your dream, too much frippery. Either way, let's pretend it's deep cover, blend in"

Offering his hand, he glanced at its wrinkles and sighed. When did it matter? Only he would have to deal with it, it's not like she had to enjoy it. "Shall we dance?"

With a smile, pointed at the outfit. "Not while you're wearing that"

"You're right, makes me look too delicious"

Unzipping his costume, he reemerged in french period clothing. "What's wrong, can't you go deep cover?"

"Haven't figured out that bit yet"

"How do I look?"

Honestly, a bit like Sherlock Holmes, but that would have been too complimenting. "Vampirish…pervert, dried up Casanova?"

"Is that a question or a statement?"

"Both"

"You don't like the cape? Yul Brenner always said I looked good in a cape"

She partially took it back, he looked like Jack The Ripper, but she decided to keep this to herself. "I don't think we're in any danger, but your face has the advantage if they think it's a mask"

"Either way we shouldn't let our guard down. Shall we dance?"

"One moment"

If they were going to dance, it was going to be serious. Walking over to the band, he watched as she gave her request. With expressive movements, she tried to made herself clear the to aquatic-like band. They looked a bit thrown off at first, but then they nodded and she came back with proud satisfaction plastered on her face. "Now Doctor, we can dance"


	4. Chapter 4

***I don't own anything**

 **Can't believe I got this far, but this story is still fun to write and well I love this ship so much. Thanks to all that read this and just can't wait for their happy ending already. Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

 **Chapter 4**

Waiting, everyone seemed to be waiting as though expecting some sort of how easily curious eyes wandered to and fro between the two mismatched figures. A gaunt visitor and his young companion attracted curious eyes. Wherever they hailed from was not of their kind, especially the tall one. It was only when their dance began could the others continue, until then they were no better then intruders.

Time, the flighty measurement that teased and frustrated even the most patient of persons was kind to Clara at such a moment. The world, the universe, or the end of time was too small a place when he was in view. The air like a think honey stood like a wall between her and the Doctor, and time seemed slower the longer she peered at his face. She watched him like he were a mannequin in the window, styled in wonderful class, well fitted in the scenery, far to expensive, but wanting all the same. She wouldn't have cared if time froze at that moment, exhilaration coloring his profile, blithe, and winsome in posture as he quietly observed. He was observing the fluttering bodies on the dance floor with calculation, and in his grasp a nectarine, close to his face like he was ready to kiss it like a departing lover. The nectarine, really needed to go.

The Doctor took notice, that everyone, at least for their respective species were out of rhythm, their paces incongruent. Tick, tock, time was moving, but everyone was out of sync like a badly dubbed movie.

Who really was in control? And since when had he been holding a nectarine? He released it immediately as though it were a disease, and continued with observation. Fascinating, everyone was off by three seconds. Was it that everyone was moving slower, or was it that the Doctor and Clara moved faster?

So many questions, the workings of a mystery were set into motion, and with all frankness he would've been glad to search on further, that is until he kicked up some dust. With his eyes he followed the trail of fairy dust which led toward Clara. With every movement, and everywhere she would walk left a glittery trail behind. She had wandered off while the band was tuning their equipment, with eyes roving about like a cat. What a sight of beauty she created, the luminescent dust like the early stages of a star, and his brilliant she glowed as it fell around her. The warm glow reflected the inner working of a kindly soul, the softness of a tender heart circulated life into her veins, and the beauty of quiet persuasion at the edges of her mouth. Oh Clara, the wonderful dream, and how he wished a moments peace while receiving the sight before him.

A strange sort of creature she was to stir the emotions of an aging time lord, but how his eyes softened as he watched her twirl in place, the joy in her hands, the swiftness on her heals, it made him smile and he barely knew himself what was growing in his hearts.

Then, she stopped, and Clara eyed him suspiciously, somewhat knowingly, as though she knew his tempo. He froze, somewhat ashamedly, though there was no reason he should have been, his care for her ran deeper then a ravine, his respect shielded a wandering eye, while throaty cries lied hidden in his diaphragm. What did she know? Could she peer into his thoughts, as though he weren't already affected? Oswald, the girl who could do him no wrong, but surround herself with trouble like it was potpourri. She eyed him like she knew what he thought, and he rather she didn't, it disturbed him tremendously.

He appeared deeply intrigued, pleased even, until their eyes met, then the Doctor stood stiffly like a school skeleton, and wore a sheepish grin. She waited patiently like a animated figurine, a rain of dust piling around her feet. What did he see when he looked at her? He once said she didn't look any different, even when she was old, but she must have had some sort of appeal other then _"sort of short and roundish,"_ which at least the " _but with a good personality,_ _which is the main thing"_ made her feel better. Yet, he tried to avoid her eyes, he wasn't ashamed, but somewhat embarrassed.

Did she catch him looking with interest? The thought of it made her eyes bite slightly, and energy bubble in her chest, her smile was the simple answer as she approached him without contest.

He scrambled to busy himself, pulling out the thin wire. She would want to dance, he could tell by the glint of challenging mischief. Social affairs like that weren't as pleasing as others would think, but he could stall. The once proud guitar reduced to nothing but wire, still left something to be inspired as he strummed a numb melody around his fingers. And his owlish gaze, everywhere except on her, distracted, unevenly connected, faraway.

Her heart climbed in impatient anticipation with the closing distance, it was cruelly sweet. Today was going to be different, there no knowing if everything that had occurred till that very moment as aesthetic as it was, could have been a dying woman's dream, but if the Doctor was there, she would stay would as long as she wanted.

"Doctor, we can dance now" Was her sweet call.

Twisting the wire, he placed it into his coat pocket, his hands free to explain. "Clara, we really don't have to dance"

"I don't think you get a vote"

With a sheepish grin, he leaned back into his heels and fiddled with his hands and bit his thumb. He really didn't mean real dancing, more like pretend-and-play-the-part-but-still-totally-fake dancing.

"What's the matter?" She asked

It was embarrassing he had to admit, new face, new body, might forgotten/deleted it. "Do you know how to dance Clara?" He asked, hoping she was a stranger.

The vague lost child in the woods look arose in his eyes, his face waiting in eager reluctance. In an unconventional, sweet, a piacere, teasing manner, her familiar way rung. "Do you?"

Great, now he would have to do the thing. There was no outward panic in said situation, but after a carefully counted breath, he answered, coolness coloring every vowel in slight defiance. "Do you just assume that I don't dance?"

"You're telling me you do dance?"

"I'm 2000 years old, I've danced quite a bit. Now really, I was just testing you, sadly you failed, but at least this was a learning moment."

Flicking his nose she broke his train of thought and forced him to focus on her. "Learning moment? Do listen to yourself at times?"

"Only when there is no company worth having"

"Listen, are you sure you can dance? Doesn't the universe implode or something if you dance?"

A cloister bell rang in his head, was it a warning?

"Wait Clara," checking the air direction as such, though being that they were indoors it was beyond the point and he continued. "I've heard this before, can't remember when, but I feel like I shoul-"

"Do you even know any moves? And no the chicken dance doesn't count"

Searching an archive, especially one so disorganized and disoriented as the Doctors brain didn't take as long as one would think, but there were occasions when aged files were lost beyond remembrance, hopefully this was not the case. "Yes, I've got moves," he clapped his hands together, still a bit sheepish around the corner of his mouth, "but I wouldn't want to boast"

"Don't care, the song is going to start soon. Can you dance or not?"

"While it's not exactly my first time dancing, I cannot be certain if this body remembers"

"Come on then, show me what you got old man, its not that hard"

"But Clara.."

"The world doesn't end because the Doctor dances"

Cloister bells, the Tardis was trying to warn him, but her words resonated with him deeply, they really were fantastic. Everything inviting, wanting, and bright in the grasp of a hand, he wanted to dance. "I suppose it doesn't"

The lights dimmed low, and her hands slipped into his, everything couldn't be the same again, he was afraid. Yet, the small tug on his hand encouraged him, so when the music began, he led her to the center of the dance floor.

 _ **There used to be a graying tower alone on the sea.**_

 _ **You became the light on the dark side of me.**_

 _ **Love remained a drug that's the high and not the pill.**_

 _ **But did you know,**_

 _ **That when it snows,**_

 _ **My eyes become large and**_

 _ **The light that you shine can be seen.**_

He was genuinely uncomfortable with all the stares they received. His movements were rigid, he couldn't relax, and looked everywhere but at Clara. "Why is a walrus singing?" he complained

"No, it's Seal"

"It's not a seal, but a walrus is singing, why is it singing? It doesn't make sense"

Gripping his hand tighter, she flashed him her teachers look. "It doesn't have to make sense, it's only a dream, and is this you dancin'?"

"It will kick in, I know I haven't forgotten, but my feet don't seem to know that"

She rested her head upon his chest, he flinched, but when she listened for any irregularities, everything sounded normal.

It really had been a long time since he danced, and he'd almost forgotten how the steps went. Dancing was surprisingly pleasant, a bit like floating like a leaf in the breeze, but slightly more controlled. Her happy sighs brought him an inordinate amount of pleasure, but none of it from the dancing. Something about her air, the way she seemed glad about their current situation warmed his hearts. He couldn't understand, it didn't make sense, but those weird feelings he felt before returned, and he was slightly queasy. He sighed as they shuffled for a few moments, the music softening sweetly. She expected him to squirm, but his steps loosened a bit and the dance was somewhat enjoyable. Looking up, his eyes appeared lost, he was thinking again, and the warmth they carried almost stole her breath. She wanted to say it so badly. "Doctor, you know..."

All the while as she tried to tell him the truth, a memory flashed before his eyes and he froze while the music rang through his ears like a pang.

 _ **Baby,**_

 _ **I compare you to a kiss from a rose on the gray.**_

 _ **Ooh,**_

 _ **The more I get of you,**_

 _ **The stranger it feels, yeah.**_

 _ **And now that your rose is in bloom.**_

 _ **A light hits the gloom on the gray.**_

Unconsciously he touched his lips, remembering a time of tenderness, and when his hearts raced over the warmth of her smile, and he felt so alone that he almost forgot himself. Clara watched as his face twisted in pain, unsure what to make of it. He groaned in agony, and clutched at his chest, it hurt like barbed wire wrapped around his heart. He was shaken, something he wasn't supposed to remember was getting to him.

Cloister bells, the Tardis had tried to warn him, but he wouldn't listen. The atmosphere was suffocating, distracting, it was trying to kill him. Why couldn't he remember?

Flashes of blonde, a blurred face, all of time and space had once been theirs. Cloister bells, this was someone he wasn't supposed to remember. His lungs burned, he was choking on his own breath, as though he was stuck in a vacuum, or was under attack by an invisible love sprite.

He was deathly pale, it didn't seem possible. His eyes were screaming, while his mouth was silent, he wanted to cry, is that what dying was like? Clara was so far away, and he didn't want to leave her alone.

He was in a panic, she'd never seen him like this, not even when he first regenerated. He was afraid, deathly afraid, in her head she could almost hear it, the regrets. All the things that could be said, everything she wanted to say and to do were to be done in their proper time. He needed help, and he needed a friend, to not be alone. No, she could hear him, it was all in his head, but he couldn't shake away the bites of memory.

Yet, she reached for his hand, like reaching over a black hole, the space between them like dark matter, and everything was turning grey, but the warm, soft glow redirected everything. Her touch snapped the grip the memory held, and when his eyes opened, hazel eyes met his, and he didn't hurt anymore.

"Doctor?"

He caught his breath, taking long deep breaths. The memory played over and over, looped on his most painful moment. The pain slowly returned, and he bit down on his thumb, he bit hard enough to redirect the pain, but not enough to make the trembling stop. He trembled so hard it was a wonder how his skin didn't shake off, and so cold, so bitterly cold. Did she sense it? Is that why the warmth of her hand traveled like a wave, like a rush over him?

He pulled his hand away, and looked away. "Nothing," he frowned, "I just remembered something unpleasant"

It was not nothing, it was concentrated, it was like an arrow of poisonous thought. Whatever he was get trying to remember, he needed to forget. He was confused, but it didn't have to do with Clara, and he just couldn't remember.

"OK" she said, unsure if that was true.

Then she looked at his hands, and they bleed from various bite marks. It wasn't okay, she knew it wasn't, and she knew the promises she held dear. She turned him around, and wrapped her arms around him in a reassuring hug, rubbing his back like a colic child. The old silver fox normally towered over her, but thanks to the cake she sort of caught up to him, and hugged him like it was the last one she would ever give.

His arms hung stiff and awkwardly, like he didn't know what do, and her voice cooed. "Sometimes Doctor, the monsters are inside us, our thoughts, our aspirations, and our dreams, they can try to control us, but they are not our masters. I know you're hurting, you don't have to tell me what it is, but know that you're not the only one that ever hurts, we both feel pain, and I am familiar with the feeling of anguish, and everything that burns, I can feel it too, right now I can feel it too. It might not be okay, things can't be all the time, but they do get better, they usually do with time. That's what you would say, that things repair themselves in time. So, I promise that with everything that I am that it will fine, and if not, I will teach you to be okay"

The pain threatened to return, and he bit down on his tongue. His head was heavy with confused thought, but Clara was steady, and so strong, no wonder he kept her around. His voice broke as he spoke. "You can feel it? No one should have to feel what I feel"

Concentrating, she tried to remove the pain if possible. At first it hit her like a hammer to head that married an ice cream headache, then it was a drowsiness, but that was temporary. She winced as she absorbed it, but she held him tighter, counting away all the terrible things she could feel, and begun to understand, and sighed. "Somehow Doctor, I think I can"

A single tear escaped her eyes and she cried out, by this time the Doctor in a fog of confusion, as though he were in zombie state. Opening one of her hands, she let the pain go, and they flew away appearing like golden butterflies, and she nearly blacked out from the release of energy, but she was determined not to let him go. "Stay with me Doctor, it will be fine in a moment"

The fog was clearing, no more cloister bells, as though she siphoned all the pain away. She patted his cheek, demanding he remain with her once her strength returned. When he felt his sanity return, he only saw Clara holding in to him as though they were saying goodbye. Hugging, no matter what was still an odd concept, but if it was Clara, it was familiar. Like a robot, he stiffly and rigidly moved his arms, until they gently held on to her, and even then, he felt strange. "I don't know what you did Clara, but thank you"

Dreamily, she whispered in his ear. "You had me worried there for a moment, thought I'd have to carry you"

With his face hidden, he smiled warmly, glad she couldn't see it. It was sedating, a Clara hug, like a cup of tea, wrapped in a soft duvet. How was he ever so lucky?

The world, everything in the room, nothing seemed to matter as they stood there, appearing like a couple in love. How oddly mismatched they were, how peculiar that either held on as long as they did, but everything inviting, and welcoming seemed to be there in each others arms.

Her heart cried, it burned in sweet agony as they gave everyone the wrong impression, but at the moment propriety could be hanged, she loved that man to death, and she could never let go until he was okay. "I'm glad you're feeling better"

The growing need in his life to protect Clara was a blessing and a curse, to keep her safe from all the monsters that could kill his Clara, the person most dearest in an increasingly confused way, it kept him leveled somewhat. What was the feeling she incited when she stood near him, when she cared, when he didn't have be so alone? It was like having a family, but what exactly was she to him? He was old enough to her father, quite so. And she never gave rise for alarm or concern, except for when he had the other face, but not anymore. Her face was the first that he had seen, and she was burned into his memory. If she were to forget, or to die, he knew his life would be stained forever.

No matter, she was still his responsibility, and he would make things right, and keep her happy. He couldn't do this, he couldn't ruin their last adventure.

With his face hidden, he looked over at the band, and waved the screwdriver around, and the song changed. In confusion she let him go, and the poppy feel which he felt he should remember made him smile. Trumpets sung with bombastic enthusiasm, the Walrus adjusted his voice box, and rung the tune.

 _ **Well, I've roamed about this Earth**_

 _ **With just a suitcase in my hand,**_

 _ **And I've met some bog-eyed Joe's,**_

 _ **I've met the blessed, I've met the damned.**_

 _ **But of all the strange, strange creatures**_

 _ **In the air, at sea, on land,**_

 _ **Oh, my girl, my girl, my precious girl,**_

 _ **I love you, you understand.**_

Clicking his shoes together, he activated his dancing shoes, having electrical impulses stimulated his leg muscles, and that was the beginning of his tiggerish enthusiasm. "I know this song" said the Doctor as he dipped her.

"I'm sure you do"

They danced like no one was watching, which if the Doctor wasn't so enthralled he might have noticed the shocked faces of most if not all of the enthusiasm they expressed.

Seeing the Doctor excited usually meant the end of a civilization, or something was on fire. At the very moment, the only thing that burned were the soles of his feet and the joy which sung at every beat.

The sound of a human heart is distinct by its characteristic lub dub, or thump thump as story books would put it, but how to do you describe the sound of an Oswald heart? While everything else except for the greenish glow, and the brief moments of unease, Clara was every bit human. Yet, there was a drumming that wasn't coming from the band. Drawing her in he heard it clearly, the racing lub dub, or thump thump. What was that noise that reverberated in her chest? He thought. Was she about to have a stroke?

"Enjoying the song Clara?"

"It's alright, but the dancing is impressive"

Her eyes were wider then usual as well, with a shiny glint he could only think could mean she was in love. It couldn't be, but he had to check. Scanning her while she wasn't looking, he detected elevated pulse and blood pressure, as well as heightened hormone levels. Then, out of the corner of his eye he spotted Danny looking their way. That explained the odd behavior, the eyes, the escalated blood pressure, but if there was something that made him feel determined, it would be to have a bigger legacy then a P.E teacher. And by no means was he going to be outstaged in his own dream.

Holding her a few seconds longer then required, he shot her a determined glance. "Trust me, you've seen nothing yet"

Light on her toes, the world fell like a blur, the only sight burned into her vision was the Doctor. He really loved to show off, the bad news, it was working; the good news, it was working. Perhaps he was always a step ahead, and he knew already, but if this was the end, she wasn't ready to let go. "I'm ready, show it to me"

Spinning her around, her head swung back with laughter, and he felt that odd feeling strongly, almost like it yelled. There was such a joyful lightness that he could understand, flowing through his veins like caffeine. His electric energy was enough for two bodies, and it was exciting.

 _ **I have wandered, I have rambled**_

 _ **I have crossed this crowded sphere,**_

 _ **And I've seen a mass of problems**_

 _ **That I long to disappear.**_

 _ **Now, all I have's this anguished heart,**_

 _ **For you have vanished too.**_

 _ **Oh, my girl, my girl, my precious girl,**_

 _ **Just what is this man to do?**_

 _ **So, reel me in, my precious girl,**_

 _ **Come on, take me home.**_

Closing his eyes, he sang from memory. " _Cause my body's tired of travelling, and my heart don't wish to roam._ "

"I didn't know you knew this song?"

"Music is psychological, how could I forget? But this song means something more to me, I know it does"

Something in his eyes had changed, it almost appeared to be the quiet determination she was used to, but she'd seen that look, it's been a while. What did he see that brought him to life? Was it girl he claimed to see, or was it a past memory?

They swung, and he drew her in, he looked somewhat pleased, it chilled her bones. She shouldn't worry, there was time, and she was almost happy. The music drowned further curiosity, and they relished in its jumpy feel.

 _ **Yeah, reel me in, my precious girl,**_

 _ **Come on, take me home.**_

 _ **'Cause my body's tired of travelling**_

 _ **And my heart don't wish to roam. No, no.**_

 _ **Well, you took me in, you stole my heart,**_

 _ **I cannot roam no more.**_

 _ **Because love, it stays within you,**_

 _ **It does not wash up on a shore.**_

 _ **But a fighting man forgets each cut**_

 _ **Each knock, each bruise, each fall,**_

 _ **But a fighting man cannot forget**_

 _ **Why his love don't roam no more.**_

Pulling her in, equal parts consciousness and subconsciously he whispered ''Oh, reel me in, my precious girl"

No! What was he doing? He didn't do this, bow tie yes, him no. What was in that drink? Perhaps that's why it's been banned. Then he looked at Clara, she was was having fun, there was nothing to worry about, but then why was he changing? He wanted to make it her happy, he really did, but suddenly, it didn't feel like enough.

The look he carried as they danced scared her. He knew something he shouldn't, but why didn't he mention it? Perhaps he learned to be more sensible after all, but she knew better.

 _ **Come on, take me home.**_

 _ **'Cause my body's tired of travelling**_

 _ **And my heart don't wish to roam.**_

She stole a glance, blushed lightly and looked away hoping he did not notice. Pulling her in, he laughed while he sang. " _Yeah, reel me in, my precious girl, come on, take me home_."

He didn't know what he was saying, the music slowed, her eyes like a frightened deer looking at the headlights. "I'm not sure you know what that means Doctor"

In a confused glare, he chuckled. "Course I do, I've been to your house dozens of times"

Realizing that he meant it innocently, the music returned to its natural speed and she smiled at him. "Whatever you say old man"

 _ **'Cause my body's tired of travelling**_

 _ **And my heart don't wish to roam.**_

 _ **Yeah, walk with me, my love, my love,**_

 _ **Walk tall, walk proud, walk far,**_

 _ **For you know my love, you are, you are,**_

Without trying she floated in the air, glowing brightly. She couldn't control it, happiness overtook her. He tried to hold her down, and she giggled when he was slightly lifted off the ground, but she let him go. The view couldn't be beat, the frustrated and confused Doctor trying both the sonic screwdriver and sonic sunglasses to get her down. Of course she was a sight to be seen, and the Doctor wasn't exactly conspicuous, but if this would be anything like a first date, it would have its moments. Stealing a mask, she hid her blush in the dim light. If she could calm down then she could stop, but the next lines made her grow brighter.

 _ **You are my shining star.**_

 _ **Walk with me, oh my love,**_

 _ **Walk tall, walk proud, walk far.**_

 _ **For you know my love, you are, you are,**_

 _ **You are my shining star, you are, you are.**_

"What are you doing up there?"

"Just floatin' around"

"Come down so we can finish dancing"

"I don't think I can"

A tentacle faced tri-head gave extra soul.

 _ **Yeah!**_

 _ **Reel me in, my precious girl,**_

 _ **Come on, take me home.**_

 _ **My body's tired of travelling**_

 _ **And my heart don't wish to roam.**_

The music faded, replaced by classical favorites and she eased back down, a bit calmer and more rational. "Some music yeah?"

"Quite"

"You were pretty into that song"

"Yes, luckily it's not catchy"

"So, yeah, you've got moves, I believe it"

He bit his thumb, then gave her a side glance. "Clara, did you... Do you know?"

"What?"

The way he waved his arms about gave her the wrong impression, and the smile that stretched across her lips wasn't that enlightening. To the Doctor, it was going to be harder to break the news to her.

"Did you see it?"

"I sure did, yep"

Letting out a sigh of relief, he took her hand, and patted it, adding to the misunderstanding. "Good, cause I wasn't quite sure and well I suspected as much"

"How... How long did you know?"

There was relief in her hands, but the rest of her shook in anticipation. "About the entire time we were dancing"

She froze, it was over, and well, it was about time. "You're right, you're absolutely right"

"I suspected as much, the signs were there, but you wanted to dance so I didn't say anything. I guess if you know then-"

"Go on, I can handle it"

The dread of breaking the dream was waking up to find everything you knew to be a lie. She knew Danny was gone, but how long would she continue to grieve? It had been over a year, longer if he counted all the times she was away while Danny was waiting, just waiting. The guilt the Doctor held was not knowing how much Danny meant to her. If only, but he tried. Why was he always the one with bad news?

Now the seeds of misunderstanding had been set. Clara imagined that the Doctor had finally wised up and was ready to tell her how he felt, but the Doctor needed to find a way to break the bad news. It was more stress then either could wish to handle. Giving his hand a reassuring squeeze, she whispered. "How long will I wait?"

He looked at her curiously, she couldn't help but shrink under his gaze. He was studying her, looking for the right thing to say. She was deathly afraid, it made no sense. "What's the matter?"

"Nothing"

Then he flashed her sly smile, hr really was confusing. "What? Is there something on my face? If there is you should tell me Clara"

"No, I just want to know what you were going to say"

"You.."

Before the words could come out, a young sensorite asked Clara to dance and she silently agreed. She needed to buy herself a little time, obviously the sensorite knew and he agreed to help.

The Doctor felt a bit cross by the interruption, but if he were to get rude at the very moment then she would be cross, and everyone and everything would be cross. The young sensorite looked at Clara and they began to dance, not so much as even asking the Doctor for proper permission. What was she doing? Was she forgetting that they weren't on holiday?

He sulked, and no amount of jelly babies could make it better. Then he was bored, then back to cross. In the end, the Doctor needed a drink, nothing unpleasant though. And the noise, he noticed all the happy noise, there was so much noise, and he thought someone should have put a filter on the guests. In all actuality it was a low hum, but the monsters in his head yelled, and loved to exaggerate.

Tea, he was going to need more tea and lots of it. Getting a double shot of Black sugar tea, he smacked his lips, it was going to need more sugar, and he was still feeling bitter when he looked back at them. She really did have odd taste in men, why else would Robin Hood and P.E peek her interest? However, the Doctor had been wrong in both accounts before. Danny was the definition of a good man, while Robin was more like a to dream trying to be.

Clara was surprised by her dance partners knowledge of Earth literature, and he complimented her mental capacity. Yet, she had trouble focusing on the conversation. The Doctor was pointing at things and taking way too much sugar in his tea. Oh, but the Doctor was planning something under those brows, it was only a matter of time.

It was disgusting how she laughed at the silent jokes, and the Doctor was pretty sure Clara was more then capable of carrying on a full conversation he couldn't overhear, he didn't like it. She wasn't supposed to go deep cover with anybody else, it was only supposed to be with him. It was childish, and immature, but he was going to do something about it. He'd dealt with them before, and it was going to be a cup of tea.

The Doctor was approaching, and the sensorite could sense trouble and looked ready to flee, but Clara begged, she wasn't ready to deal with him yet. The creature understood, being the gentlemen that he was, he stood firm if unsurely. He looked smooth as he glanced at her, the furiosity in his eyes burning hotly saved for the sensorite. Taping the creature on the shoulder, the Doctor took a hard deep look that could peel paint off walls, but then smiled. Taking a deep breath, he said loudly. "CLARA! THOUGHT YOU MIGHT WANT SOME TEA! I'M SURE BALDY HERE WON'T MIND, IT HAS A BOLD, ROBUST FLAVOR JUST LIKE YOU!"

The poor creature ran off clutching to his head, it really was not his day, and Clara flashed the Doctor a look of disapproval. "What was that?"

Pretending nothing happened, he dumped several more lumps of the sugar into the sickingly sweet tea."I thought you might want some tea"

"I don't need tea, I need to you go apologize to that creature"

"I'm sure he can HEAR WELL ENOUGH WHAT I'M SAYING!"

"Stop it! What has gotten into you?"

"The sensorites have sensitive hearing and..."

"That was extremely rude and undignified"

He threw the cup at the passing blob like creature, furious for no good reason. "You were going deep cover with me Clara, not him. I don't want to know if the two of you were mentally snogging, or if he's your new boyfriend, but do that on your own time. I really don't understand what you're doing, or why you're doing this. Do you enjoying seeing me cross, because I don't"

He really was upset, jealous even. Jealousy, the Doctor was capable of jealousy. "It doesn't do you any good to get upset, besides he's not even real"

"I KNOW THAT!"

Whatever reaction he was expecting didn't meet him, instead there was laughing, not mocking, but happy laughing. It was true, seeing him cross did somehow amuse her. "You're no Mr Spock, but you'll do."

"This is serious Clara"

"I know, that's what so funny about it, but you still have to apologize"

Locating the sensorite in the crowd, he waved, but the creature just continued to flee. Then he turned back to Clara, and complained. "Its supposed to be our adventure Clara, and I have to keep my eye on you"

It was such a treat, even if it was an illusion to see the Doctor jealous, but he was forgetting they were supposed to be undercover and she was too. "Keep your eyes in your head Doctor, I get it, but you have to shut up now, it's blowing your deep cover"

Waving around, he apologized, proud of himself slightly, not learning a thing. She looked up at him with soft eyes, truly touched, and inspired. Once he calmed slightly, he noticed it again, that the closer he was to her, the more she glowed, it really was fascinating. He wondered if she worked like a mood ring, and an idea popped into his head. With soft eyes, he took her hand and pulled her toward him. "Come closer Clara, I need to tell you something"

The moment had finally come, and her wings dared to carry her off again. Pretending her feet were locked in place, she closed her eyes and waited. Her breathing sounded louder then a storm, and her heart then a drummers beats, the moment would never come again, so she had to be sure to remember. "I'm listening"

Wrapping an arm around her, she froze slightly, then relaxed. Her eyes were shut tight, he didn't understand why, but her lashes were long according to his observation. It didn't make sense, if she was blocking her vision then why were her vitals irregular? She couldn't see Danny with her eyes closed, unless she really did fall for a sensorite. Then another thought, what if she shivered with hate? It could have been that. Either way, the smell of a banana daiquiri remained like a ticking reminder that he was dangerously close, and shiny dust fell over his sleeves. "Its going to be alright Clara," and as he drew her in, he kept careful watch of her vitals, and sighed. "I promise"

Mush, the Doctor was a pile of mush after all and it was sedating. The world fell into silence, and all she could hear was her treacherous heart and breathing. With another sigh, he neared, the softness of his cheek brushing against hers. She nearly stopped breathing as her head rested on his chest, his hearts slightly quicker then before. This meant something, it meant he wasn't so cool and collected after all, and with his breath in her ear, she wished he would get on with it. "Tell me Doctor, what is it?"

Was he supposed to be this anxious? It wasn't meant to be so serious, but it dawned on him that the way they must have appeared to others would be slightly closer then he'd like them to believe. He sighed again, everything was so confusing lately, and it would have to end soon. Close enough for her to hear, he whispered "Sorry"

She frowned, it was going to be bad news. Trying to pull away, she didn't want to hear it, but he held her closer. It really all was too much, and she complained. "Let me go "

"Please Clara, it would only take a moment. This is important, and I need you to listen"

It was the voice, it really was a weakness. She stopped struggling, and replied softly. "Okay"

"I know you're secret"

Her eyes flashed open, and a tear ran down her cheek. "That's good, I was hoping you would"

Looking over his readings, they really were unbelievable. The energy output that came from Clara could take the Tardis a few hundred miles, like she contained a small nuclear reactor inside her. Really, dream Clara was impressive. She was shivered more violently now as though she were afraid, and the the fluctuations were extraordinary. Now, there was one more thing he had to check. "Are you ready?"

Clutching on tighter, she stiffened. "Always"


	5. Chapter 5

***I don't own Doctor Who or its characters**

 **Its been a while, half a year since an update. Real life getting in the way, but found this and thought why not update. Hope you enjoy**

* * *

 **Chapter 5**

Nuclear power is the use of nuclear reactions that release nuclear energy to generate heat, which most frequently is then used in steam turbines to produce electricity in a nuclear power station.

In nuclear physics and nuclear chemistry, nuclear fission is either a nuclear reaction or a radioactive decay process in which the nucleus of an atom splits into smaller parts (lighter nuclei). The fission process often produces free neutrons and photons (in the form of gamma rays), and releases a very large amount of energy even by the energetic standards of radioactive decay.

Both fission and fusion appear promising for space propulsion applications, generating higher mission velocities with less reaction mass. This is due to the much higher energy density of nuclear reactions: some 7 orders of magnitude (10,000,000 times) more energetic than the chemical reactions which power the current generation of rockets.

Now, if you may, forget all you've read, and focus on the glowing young woman called Clara Oswald. The saying " _She looks dangerous"_ takes on a new meaning in this particular case.

The energy buzzed in the air around her, just touching her was searing the tips of his fingers, and in his head it was a madness of electrical disruption. The thrill of existing in a plane of perpetual energy, fantasy, holding the conduit with a pulse, breathing virulent breath, interest in the unknown of what could possibly kill, but linger in a minds eye, and invite curiosity at its purest form, never had it been so obliging.

He didn't want to panic, but his findings were both terrifying and fascinating, he could kiss it to death. Pure energy radiated from every cell in her body, and the source behind it was rubbish, but it was a dream, nothing makes sense in a dream. He ran the scenarios in his head possibly a dozen times before she had a chance to breathe, and most of them ended in disaster. He didn't get it, nothing about Clara screamed radioactive, but if the burning of his flesh had anything to say, it was as real as a dream could get. However, that didn't mean he wouldn't push her to the limit. "Oh Clara," he smiled, "look at you, you're glowing"

Her face burned with embarrassment, and the rosiness in her plump cheeks spoke of a happy soul, high in romantic bliss. Her words, her breath, every bit bashful, and possibly toxic, were unaware, but busy with contentment. "Can't help it Doctor, you do that to me"

"Actually Clara, there is no rush, stand still, relax, it will be over before you know it"

His hand brushed the side of her face as though to be sure, as though to reassure himself that she would not break. "Look at you, standing tall, as though the world falls off your shoulders and your stress flows away in the wind. You're powerful, and it disturbs me to think of whether or not I can keep you safe"

"From you?"

"From everyone. Are you aware of your behavior lately?"

"I don't need to safe Doctor, I just have to trust and I'm aware, more so actually"

"Are you?"

"It's been quite a year, so much has happened, it went by a little too quickly"

"That's right, I'm not getting any younger"

"Neither am I"

"Was it enough? Did I not try hard enough?"

"It was fine, it was good. I had the time of my life"

"No time for regrets then?"

"Not even for a moment"

The sonic screwdriver said the readings were STABLE, but how Clara stabilized when she was smiling still didn't make sense.

Humans as a whole were a confusing species, they went to war, wrote songs, and procreate, and repeat. However, Clara magnified the confusion. If she smiled, it could mean she was cross, or if she was cross then she could become severely cross. Or if her eyes swelled, it could mean the world was falling apart. He couldn't help but be confused, even when she meant well. "I do what Clara? Am I bothering you? Did the way I acted earlier bother you?"

"Of course you bother me. You do more then you know Doctor, you intrigue the masses with yo-yos, and you find new ways to be annoying, but I'm used to that by now. As for the way you acted earlier, I'll just pretend it was like dinner theater"

"If you enjoyed that, then we should visit Shakespeare next time"

"Perhaps we shall"

"We could go now, if we just thought about it"

"Actually, I'd prefer you'd go on Doctor, I wanna know what you were about to say"

"I'm sorry to tell you that I can't change this, the way you feel"

Oblivious to what he meant, she teased, "Who said I wanted you to stop? I don't think I can change it either," then she bit her lip, "but that's fine"

She was stable, but the deterministic effects were slowly taking effect, and he was glad he had gloves on or she would have seen the peeling dry skin. Now, if she was excited, then perhaps the natural chemical changes were multiplied to an exaggerated amount, to the point where they were beyond control. This was also taking the saying _"Hormonal Female"_ to new heights as well.

Putting away his screwdriver, he added depth to his voice when he suggested. "You can stop anytime you want to Clara, it doesn't have to be this way. Unless you don't want to?"

"Why would I not want to?"

"Because Clara, things can't go keep on like this, one of use has to change. Who is it going to be?"

"I don't want you to change Doctor, I'm good with right here and now"

"Are you?"

Pressing a finger on his lips, she stood on her toes, dangerously close to his lips. "Tell me Doctor, how can you stop an addiction if you never give it up?"

She was good, she really knew how to make someone uncomfortable. A blush dusted his cheeks, so from his inner pocket, he found a mask and placed it over his face. He might have felt bothered, but he'd rather not let her see the damage she inflicted. Near his lips it began to dry and peel, and he was bidding his time, though it was drawing near. Her face twisted in a bout of confusion, but then sprung back in light-hearted smile. "What are you playing at? I thought you weren't into this sort of thing"

"What? You don't like it? Thought it brought out my eyes"

"You don't need any help there old man, though the elongated nose is a bit de Bergerac"

With a laugh, she attempted to pull away the mask but his eyes told her no. He waved his hands about and spoke dreamily. "I have dropped from the sky, from the moon! What time is it? What time? What country? What day? What season? I have dropped from the moon like a bomb!"

"What are you babbling about?"

"I tell you I have dropped from the moon!"

"Very well. You have dropped from the moon"

"Not metaphorically, mind that! A hundred years ago, or else a minute,—for I have no conception how long I have been falling,—I was up there, in that saffron-colored ball! While falling I could not choose my way, and have no notion where I have fallen! Is it upon a moon, or is it upon an earth, I have been dragged by my posterior weight? I arrived—pray, pardon my appearance! —by the last whirlwind. I am rather unpresentable—Travel, you know!"

Walking up close to her, he scooped up some dust and threw it in the air. Like mini stars, small lights circled around her and vanished. "My eyes are still full of star-dust. My spurs are clogged with bristles off a planet. See, on my sleeve, a comet's hair!"

"Doctor, I want-"

"I know perfectly what you want! You want to know, from me, at first hand, what the moon is made of, and whether that monumental pumpkin is inhabited? I invented no less than six ways of storming the blue fort of Heaven! I call her the Tardis, and I was stolen at the very first instance and at the very last, I hope I'll be scattered after I'm burned, since smoke by its nature ascends, I could be blown into an appropriate globe a sufficient quantity to ascend with me! I give you a hundred guesses!"

"I only need two. First, are you distracting me?"

"Yes"

"Two, how can you stop an addiction if you never give it up?"

The Doctor spotted Danny spying at them from the upper level, and frowned at their appearance before he walked away. He paused for a moment, and felt slightly guilty for what he was about to do. She really was feeling bad about Danny, and who was he to change that? No wonder she was deliriously happy, why else would she forget herself and act in such a way? She knew, and she wouldn't act in such a way if there was any other reason.

One happy, the other confused, it was a recipe for disaster. Yet, he had a duty of care, and a hypothesis to conclude. How long did they stand there in silence, the suffocating silence? It really felt strange, like he didn't know how to answer. Then, a few heartbeats later, he said. "Simple, you find a distraction"

Before he could say anything else, he pricked her with a pin. "Oww"

Right away he pulled away, and examined her thoroughly. The brilliant glow had dimmed, her face twisted in frustration, and his hypothesis was correct, while the flesh on his finger tips blistered. "Probably should have warned you that if you get hurt or die in this dream then you may never wake up"

She felt everything and nothing, hurt, betrayed, worst of all humiliated. "That would have been nice to know before I agreed to this"

"The good news is you're power house of energy"

Moments later, his face stung. "Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up!"

"Clara, I-"

"Shut up! For once I thought you were-"

Of all the stupidity, this was the worst of it. Her hands clenched and unclenched, her eyes glowed, and the ground she walked on burned. "I was wrong, I was bloody wrong!"

"I was checking your vitals Clara, you might want to calm down"

The area around her scorched, she really was dangerous. "I'll calm down when I'm bloody ready to!"

"Why are you so upset? It was only a needle"

"That's the thing with you isn't Doctor, you're an alien so I'm supposed to forgive you when you go all time lord, naive about human customs and awful bedside manner, but what about now? Is this not magical enough for you? Just because I'm dressed like Tinker Bell doesn't mean I'm a fantasy. You can't do that"

"This isn't the time for this Clara, you'r-"

"Shut up! You can't make people... You can't let them think things and then disappoint them. You're nothing but a dirty old man"

By now his lungs began to burn, he knew something had to be done. Coughing a bit, he replied. "Now hold on, I'm only 2000 years young, for a time lord I look good"

"In the future, I suggest you consult the cue cards, a hallmark apology card, and-"

"And?"

She glowed brightly again. Her emotions were connected to the glow like a firefly, and knowing Clara she would have enough to fill a swimming pool. "Shut up!"

Radioactive decay, also known as nuclear decay or radioactivity, is the process by which a nucleus of an unstable atom loses energy by emitting radiation. A material that spontaneously emits such radiation — which includes alpha particles, beta particles, gamma rays and conversion electrons — is considered radioactive.

In lame man's terms, Clara was at the beginning of a meltdown.

The temperature was escalating, he had to cool her down. With quick thinking, he moved them to a room with its own climate, stuck in the dead of winter. He had five minutes before he'd freeze to death. Even then, she still caused the ice to burn. Dream logic, completely unreliable. The readings in the sunglasses were unreadable now, their circuits fried, and his chances of both freezing and burning to death. She was producing too much energy, and if she didn't calm she'd burn herself out.

"Listen Clara, you have to relax"

"I don't have to do anything"

Thinking even harder, he placed her in an protective chamber. "I'm sorry Clara, but it's for your own good"

Small fists pounded against the thick glass, the stabilizers failing to cool her down. "Let me out!"

He turned on the microphone, hoping it wouldn't burn before he could tell her. "You'll die Clara"

"What?"

"You're producing too much energy, and if you don't calm down you'll explode"

"How can this be happening?"

"Its a dream, you can't trust it. However, you've allowed your anger to possibly transform you into a monster. You have to calm down or you'll perish, and I can't lose you Clara, not like this"

"I can't, I'm too upset!"

The chamber started to melt from the heat of the energy, and it began to eat away at his flesh, but through an opening where the glass melted away, he cried out and took her hand. She was crying, and scared, and alone, he'd known it all too well. "I believe in you Clara Oswald, I know you can do it, because I believe in my impossible girl"

Her glowing eyes dimmed, and her body slumped forward as she fell. Scooping her up, she saw through fuzzy eyes how the scenery changed, and he laid her down in a red couch, rubbing her arms with healing salve and spraying her. "Wha-"

"Shhh, its a protective seal and coolant. It should keep you from a complete meltdown, but allow for enough power to fly around if have need to"

His arms were burned, third degree if she wasn't mistaken. They were in a different place, old props lined the walls, a gondola on an underground river, what a mood. They were away from everyone, in a secret place, and the guilt hit terribly. She did this, she hurt the Doctor. "I'm sorry"

"No, this is all my fault, if I would have told you earlier then none of this wouldn't have happened. I thought by being ambiguous you would get curious to what I was going to tell you, but you already knew. I don't understand why you'd want me to tell you I saw P.E when you already knew, unless you thought-"

"No, I did this, I almost killed you and everyone else"

"I know you didn't mean it, you would never do such a thing. I know you, and I know that face, I can tell when you're upset, but you're never like this. I went too far"

"Doctor, your arms"

"A small price to pay, knew I'd pay for it sooner or later"

Touching his burnt hand, she concentrated her energy. She wanted him to get better, that was her wish and soon enough, he was all healed, and she rested for a while. He tried to abort the dream, but he still couldn't. Clara, didn't want to wake, and he couldn't leave until she was ready. Thinking of the cue cards, he looked them over. Nothing about being sorry for an almost nuclear meltdown.

He would make it up to her, even if it meant frippery.

The whole time she was resting, the Doctor hovered over her, and it really was touching. He'd check her temperature, and her vitals, and she was pretty sure he looked worried. "You're a real Doctor?"

"Of course"

While he went into a speech about chemical reactions, and the effect of radiation on the human body, she savored the tone. Why did she ever want this man to shut up?

Smiling weakly at him, she tried to sit up but he wouldn't let her. "You should rest"

"I'll be fine"

Concentrating, she managed to heal herself and was as good as new. "See? I'm better"

"That's amazing, you really are amazing"

"I'm not sure science can explain it, but I'm sure Disney can. Deserves its own movie don't you think?"

"The life and frustrations of an Twinkling Belle, has a good ring to it"

"Do you want to get back to the dancing?"

"Only if you want to"

"I want to go where you go, but I'd really like to take a scary gondola ride"

"If my lady wishes"

Boarding the boat, they had no idea what was in store.

"Where are we going?"

"That's a good question, I've got no idea, but I'm hungry"

"Doctor, about earlier, about Danny..."

"He's upstairs, possibly texting aliens of low moral character"

"Don't start"

"He was giving me the eyes, not like your eyes, yours are fine …but his.."

"My eyes are fine?"

"They just inflate sometimes, don't know how you do it. Sometimes you look better, when their closed, you know like when you're sleeping"

"Do you watch me sleep?"

"Purely for scientific reasons"

"You can be real cute when you're trying to lie"

"I'm not!"

"Come here, I just want you to look me in the eye and say it again"

"No"

Pointing his face in her direction, he closed his eyes, but she kissed his nose "Got you"

"You really shouldn't do that, what if someone sees you. They'll think you're attacking my face"

"Seriously?"

His eyes shot open, blues so deep she froze. Raising an eyebrow, he scanned her. "You possibly might be suffering from radiation poisoning. I suggest you rest and let me row"

"Now I'm getting cross"

"Better cross and safe, then falling into the scary water"

Dipping his finger into the water, and tasting it, he frowned. "This isn't water, its Diet Coke"

"That explains the creepy sounds"

"You know what that means?"

"Don't tell me"

Taking a handful of jelly babies, he grinned. "Let's travel in style"

Dropping the candy, they rode the wave of fizz all the way back to the ballroom.


End file.
